What Happens in Weiss, Stays in Weiss
by KalliopeStarmist
Summary: The Nuances of Toast, a band of merry original characters, find themselves trapped in the land of Killer Florists. Will they find a way home before being killed by irrate fangirls?
1. A VERY Important Introduction

(Intro written by Amaya. Read the next chapter after this before deciding if you hate us or not.)

OOOOOO AN INTRO! (it's actually important to read, so don't skip it you asses!)

What now!

Well as most should know by now, this is a some what twisted fic. That is some what a cross between Juvenile Orion and Weiss Kreuz, but most of it takes part in Weiss.

Ok! Explanation of characters:

First off, the extra characters in this fic are actually ourselves….you see everyone that sits at the lunch table called "The Nuances of Toast" (don't ask, I don't know where it came from) are a tid-bit insane. But anyway here's the list of characters,

Amaya: a Dark Lore she like Kaname, and in the Weiss universe, likes Omi. She tried to kill Michiko once. (has a scar on her right shoulder from Michiko's attack from her bling bling cross of DOOM) When she's in full-fledged Dark Lore mood, she's very sadistic and loves to kill.

Michiko Izumi: A teacher in Juvenile Orion, has a thing for older guys, that's why she like Tomonori in JO. And in Weiss, it's Yohji. Amaya and Michiko used to try and kill each other, literally. (she has a scar on her shoulder from where Amaya had gotten a hold of her) She has one room-mate in her El-cheapo apartments, and that is Yori, the cat.

Rainbow: Rainbow and Amaya started the whipped cream fetish. If there's a hot anime/manga guy around, they'll be sure to be covered in whipped cream. She has Naoya in JO and is battling for Ken in Weiss with Bono. She some how turns into super-smart Rainbow of DOOM when problems need explaining. And it just randomly happens.

Bono Von Bono: He's a prince from and obscure European country. You never really learn what country it is, just that he's from Europe. In JO, he has Isshin. In Weiss he fights for Ken, like I said above. He has a can of Cran-apple from Minute Made named Bev., for a spiritual advisor.

Cyrano: A Dark Eraser (half Dark Lore, half Eraser.) She has Tsukasa in JO and is chasing after Aya in Weiss. They're both pretty insane. She's a cannibal though, well kind of. She has a huge obsession with J-Rock. (Japanese Rock for those who are under-educated) Some of the bands she likes are Dir en Grey, Malice Mizer, Mois dix Moi, and Schwartzstein.

Oh, yes, nosebleeds tend to happen to us when a hot anime guy is near by. Nosebleed usually hints at dirty thoughts, or just the thought of a hot guy.

Mystery Science Theater (MST) is just funny and Yohji does seem like the guy who would like that, and Michiko does really like it. I mean come on, it's hilarious. A mistie is a fan.

Well that's all for the intro, and if you want to understand the fic, YOU HAVE TO READ IT! SO NO EXCUSES, ALL RIGHT!

Sorry ;; but anyway, please enjoy, and no flames. They're mean.


	2. Wait, Since When Are We In a Cheesy Horr...

**What Happens In Weiss Stays In Weiss. Chapter 2 (actually, chapter 1, but the intro is chapter one, so yeah.)**

Written By Michiko, which explains why she sometimes takes over the story.

Rainbow, Cyrano, and Amaya were bouncing around loading up a small rental car with stuff. It had taken much more planning than they were usually capable of to arrange this road trip. They were going to enjoy it, dagnamit!

Rainbow was skipping around taking inventory. "We need sunscreen, and skiing equipment, and the Al action figure, and the first aid kit..."

Amaya grabbed a bulk box of Reddi-Whip. "Don't forget the WHIPPED CREAM!"

Cyrano looked up from trying to shove a suitcase into the already overloaded trunk. She whipped a wad of paper out of her pocket and held it up. "Or the concert tickets! I'm damned if I'm going to be that close to a Dir en Grey performance and miss it!"

Rainbow looked at her watch. They should leave soon if they wanted to make it to the motel. "Where's Bono? He should be back by now. He's late."

Suddenly, Bono jumped out from behind a tree. "**Bono Von Bono** is never late! I had to drop the siblings off at the kennel. Are we all going to fit in that car?"

"I get to drive, I get to drive!" Cyrano jumped into the driver seat. "Lets go, lets go!"

Bono looked at the other girls, who were jumping up and down fighting over an Al action figure. "You had caffeine this morning, didn't you?" They nodded. "Well, its not getting any earlier. Are we ready to go yet?"

"Not quite." Amaya turned to the apartment window. "HURRY UP, MICHIKO! WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY!"

"I'M COMING!" Michiko yelled down at her waiting friends. She then turned back to Tsukasa, who was staring at the ceiling. "Where was I? She has a can of food every morning at 8, and then a half cup of dry at 6:30 every night. And give her fresh water in the morning, too. But don't give her more food if she still has some in her dish. I left a list of her favorite brands on the fridge in case you run out of anything. And water the plants every two days, but not if they feel moist. I gave you the key. You have the vet's number, and my cell. Call me if anything goes wrong. If you can't reach me on the phone, E-mail me. I'll have my laptop. The address Her incredibly bored pet-sitter interrupted. "I know! You've been telling me for the last half hour! Relax. I can take care of Yori just fine. I promise. GO already!"

"Ok. You're right. Bye. I'll see you in a while." She turned to Yori (her cat) and glomped her. "Bye bye! Mommy's going to be back soon! I promise! You be nice to Tsukasa!" She then grabbed her laptop and ran out the door. Tsukasa stared after her for a while.

"How come adults are always so tense when they're on vacation?" He asked Yori.

So our happy campers pile into the car and drive like fury for a few hours. Then they slow down and take a few scenic detours. Then darkness falls.

The last few notes of 100 Bottles of Saki on the Wall died down. Nervously, Bono asked a question that had been bothering all of them for a long time.

"Cyrano? Do you know where we're going?"

"Nope! I think I took a wrong turn somewhere." Everybody's favorite Dark Eraser replied gleefully.

"Do you even know how to drive?" Amaya asked as they swerved to avoid hitting a tree.

"Not technically. But I do play Grand Theft Auto a lot!" She replied as she cheerfully pretended to shoot a gun out the window.

The car lit up with the creepy blue glow of a laptop, then cell phone noises could be heard. Rainbow grabbed the cell phone and the laptop out of Michiko's hands and tossed them out the open car window.

"OH MY GOD! MY LAPTOP! But I had all my records on there! And the editorial I was working on, and the directions to the hotel! What did you do that for?" She (Michiko) spazed.

"For your own good. You are on VACATION! Breath in, breath out. You need to relax! You need a Kleenex, 'cause your nose is bleeding really bad." Rainbow explained calmly, considering that Michiko was trying to strangle her.

Just then, there was a huge bolt of thunder, and everybody jumped, including Cyrano, who ran the car off the road and into a ditch.

"Oopsies! Is everybody ok?"

"Yup yup yup!" Rainbow jumped out of the car.

"Why is it that whenever a group of teenagers on vacation drive into a ditch, it's raining?" Amaya asked, also getting out of the car.

"Because then it's creepy when they get chased by psychos through the woods." Cyrano explained.

"Um, Izumi isn't moving." Bono noticed. And indeed, she was sort of passed out in the back seat.

"If only we hadn't thrown out that cell phone! We could get her the medical attention she so desperately needs! I didn't know! How come these things are always my fault? Why am I cursed?" Rainbow launched into what was promising to be a good and angsty soliloquy.

"Wait, her nose is bleeding! There are bishouen nearby! And judging by how much blood she's lost, I would say one of them is 18 or older, with type AB blood and glasses!" Say what you will about Amaya, she knows her nosebleeds.

"And where there are bishouen, there is medical aid! Or death traps." Cyrano grabbed her gun.

"I've got the whipped cream!" Rainbow distributed a bottle of the fangirl's secret weapon to the group members.

"Ok, everybody grab an arm or a leg, and we'll carefully transport her to safety." Everybody turned to stare at Amaya.

"Or, since we're lazy teenagers, we could just take turns dragging her feet first along the ground and ignoring any injuries she may sustain." Bono proposed an easier plan of action, and they were on their way. After a few minutes, the others' noses started to bleed. They were close.

"I hope this one is one of the gay ones." Bono said randomly.

"What do you mean, one of the gay ones?" Amaya asked.

"Haven't you guys noticed that Izumi tends to fall for guys who are either gay, psycho killers, or priests?"

"Or, everyone's personal favorite, the **gay** psycho killer_ priest._" Rainbow shrieked with laughter.

"He's not gay!" Cyrano stood up for her friend. (And we aren't talking about the gay psycho killer priest, either.)

"Cyrano, honey, someday you're going to have to face up to the facts." Bono said gently.

"You guys are such perverts."

Rainbow didn't hear the malice in Cyrano's voice. "Heeheeheeheehee. Hey, Bono! _I wish you were my real father!"_

Apparently Bono didn't hear it either. "_Well, I wish you would suck_ OOF" Actually, this last word was not part of this particular joke. Rather, it is the sound Bono makes when he finds a tree branch has just collided with his stomach.

Cyrano waved her branch threateningly. "I HEAR ONE MORE JOKE, AND SO HELP ME, THEY WILL NEVER FIND ALL OF YOUR BODY PARTS!"

"Hey, look! Lights! They're shiny!" Rainbow pointed towards the cottage in the distance, and they forgot their petty quarrels and ran off to the safety of the beckoning home. Then they ran back, because they had left Michiko behind. But they all got to the door eventually and started pounding on said door and screaming until it opened a crack and a red haired guy stuck his head out. (You saw this one coming and you know it.)

"Isn't it a bit late to be selling girl scout cookies?" Bono cleared his throat. "Oh, didn't see you. Look, we're busy. Go away." He closed the door, but the group could still hear the conversation he had with whoever else was in the house.

"Who was that?" asked mysterious voice number one.

"Jehovah's Witnesses"

"At this hour?"

"You are so gullible it's not really funny."

"Who was it really?"

"Just some stupid kids."

"If they're up here, they probably need help."

"Fine. Go and help them. It will just cause us trouble."

The group at the door held their breath as the door opened again and a younger boy with light brown hair stuck his head out. "I'm sorry about my friend. He's not a very trusting person."

"That's ok. We were wondering if we could..." But it was too late. The door had slammed once again.

"HEY! GET OFF MY COMPUTER!" Yelled younger guy. There were sounds of a small scuffle in the background. The group at the door waited for a while. Then a while longer. Finally they knocked again. Once more, the door opened, and this time a guy with dark brown hair stuck _his_ head out. (Getting repetitive, huh?)

He yelled back into the house. "YOU DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER TO LET THEM IN? These poor girls have been standing out here in the rain for how long now?"

"Girls, did you say?" mysterious voice number two asked.

"Yeah. Three of them. They're soaked! Look at their shirts!" This announcement was followed by an 'OOF' similar to the one Bono made when Cyrano hit him with the branch of DOOM. Brunette disappeared from the door way and was replaced with yet another guy, this one with blond hair.

"I'm so sorry, mademoiselles. Please forgive my friends. They are not used to being around such beautiful women as yourselves."

"Are you planning on letting them in this century?"

"I bet they'd be happier listening to your bad pick up lines _inside_."

"Close the door. You're letting in the cold air!"

"Won't you please come in?" And blondie got to the point and let them in. Once again, in their anxiousness to get inside, they forgot Michiko. (I feel loved)

"Thanks we need to use your phone. Our car broke down on the road, and Michiko is hurt..."

"Aren't you girls a little young to be riding alone through the country at night?" Blondie asked.

"No, we where with our teacher, Izu... OH MY GOD! We left her on the porch!" The group dashed to the door, but blondie got there first.

"I'll get her."

The Nuances of Toast used this time to look at the strange scene surrounding them. Red-Haired guy was standing in a corner glaring at them, Younger guy had a death grip on a computer, and Brunette was doubled over in pain on the floor.

"Aya? Could you at least get them towels? Or help me off the floor?" Brunette gasped. Red-head hastily left the room, having decided on the former option.

"Bono?" Cyrano whispered. "I'm scared."

"Me too, dear. Me too."

"Do you guys still have your whipped cream?" Amaya asked quietly. They nodded. "Ok. Start shaking it. Be ready."

At this moment, Blondie burst through the door carrying Michiko, who, aside from having lost blood, passed out, and sustained several head injuries, now had swallowed a fair amount of rain water as well. Blondie placed her on the couch and turned to his friends with a wink.

"And that, boys, is why you always let people in to use the phone."

"A plate of school fries says she woke up when he was carrying her and didn't say anything." Rainbow muttered to Amaya.

"No bet." (A/N: our school makes addictive french fries.)

Actually, Michiko _hadn't_ woke up. But if she had, she probably _wouldn't_ have said anything.

Meanwhile, Bono explained their predicament to the people whose house they were invading and passed out towels, brought by Red Hair when the author wasn't paying attention.

"So, we saw your house and we came here, and you know the rest."

"You're lucky you found us. Not many people can see this place from the road." Brunette told him. "I'm Ken, by the way, and this is Omi," Younger guy waved, "Aya," he indicated Red Head, who was dialing an number on the phone, "and Yohji." Blondie smiled. "And we own a flower shop."

"Ok. I'm Bono von Bono, and this is Rainbow..."

"Oh, Hello!"

"Cyrano..."

"I only bite when I'm crazy."

"Amaya..."

"...hi." Ken, Omi, Aya, Yohji...Amaya knew those names from somewhere.

"And the one on the couch is Michiko."

Michiko made a good effort to cough up some of the rain water in her lungs.

"And we're students. Except for Michiko, who is, in fact, a teacher. We're on vacation."

Introductions having been made, they sat around awkwardly for a few seconds, until Aya slammed down the telephone and started yelling.

"OMI! Get off the Internet! I'm trying to reach a tow truck!"

"I'm not on the Internet. The lines must be down." There was a brief rustling while the Nuances got out their notepads to write down any new curse words they may learn from Aya. (Always be prepared to learn, that's their motto.) But Aya didn't say anything. He merely fumed silently.

"Oh, does this mean they have to stay here? We can have a sleep over! YAY!" Omi jumped a few feet in the air.

"YAY! I love sleep overs!" Sleep over is an Amaya buzz word.

"You've been drinking coffee again, haven't you?" Ken turned to Omi, who nodded. He (Ken) sighed and turned back to the Nuances. "I suppose you will have to stay here though. You must be tired. It's a long walk to here from the main road."

"I'm sorry we're barging in on you like this..." Bono, using his skills as the prince of an obscure European nation, tried to be polite.

"Finally! I thought you were going to leave us standing here all night!" Tact was not Cyrano's strong point.

And then the scene changed, and the birds sang, and weak sunlight struggled with the rain clouds until a few rays broke through and made their way directly into the eyes of the sleeping Nuances.

"Go 'way, Navi, I'm trying to sleep." Muttered Rainbow, closing her eyes tighter.

"The sun. It burns." Muttered Cyrano, turning over.

"But I didn't mean to." Muttered Amaya, throwing a pillow at the wall.

"Football practice." Muttered Bono, sitting bolt upright, then falling back over.

"Snork." Muttered Michiko, who was still in a coma.

So, the functioning Nuances slowly got up, grabbed their whipped cream, and made their way out of their individual rooms and into Michiko's for an emergency meeting. After roll call and a brief reading of the last meeting's minutes, they discussed their unusual situation.

"Do you notice that this place is horror movie weird?" Rainbow asked. The others all started talking at once.

"YES! That creepy Aya guy keeps staring at me!" Bono said.

"YES! I found a crossbow and a sword in my room!" Cyrano raved.

"YES! These guys remind me of something, but I can't think what!" Amaya ranted.

"What are we going to do about it? The phones are dead..."

"Wait for Michiko to recover and don't get on their nerves?"

"Fix the car and get out of here!"

"Keep our whipped cream at the ready."

From the room below a very loud crash was heard, followed by some swearing. Bono turned to the others. "Does anybody want breakfast? I can make pancakes."

"YAY! Pancakes!" said the Nuances as a group. But they didn't get their pancakes, because a at this point Michiko tried to sit up.

"Guys, is that you? I don't feel so good." The Nuances rushed over to her. "What happened? I remember Rainbow killed my laptop, and then I was looking for something to stab her with, and then everything gets kinda fuzzy."

"Cyrano drove the car into a ditch, which knocked you out, but we carried you heroically through the rain until we ended up here." Amaya explained.

"In this cabin with these four cute florists living in it for no apparent reason. The phone lines are out, so we're kinda stuck here." Rainbow finished.

"I think they're gay." Bono added. The others looked at him. "Hey, I'm on vacation. I wanna get laid! Is that a crime?"

"And I found a mini arsenal in my room!" Cyrano reminded them.

"Don't worry. You guys have whipped cream, I have my..." Michiko paused, then started rooting through the pillows. "Guys, have you seen my bling bling cross of DOOM?" (A/N: Commonly used by Wiz-Doms. You know what I'm talking about.)

"I hope it didn't drop out while we were carrying you..." Cyrano looked around.

Michiko whimpered.

"It's ok. We'll get you a new one." Rainbow promised her.

"But it's not mine! I borrowed it for this trip because I lost mine. It's To...T. Damn. What's his name?"

The others exchanged glances. Maybe dragging her along had hurt her head worse than they thought. They started to giggle. Michiko had never forgotten anything like this before.

"Help me out here. I think it starts with a T."

Amaya took pity on her. "You mean T.. T...oh, its on the tip of my tongue!"

Michiko turned to the others. "You know, the guy who lives with Ts...Ts...grr. I can't think of it."

Cyrano never let anyone forget her guy's name. "Tsu... Tsu...Ts...no. I can't remember! He's blond, and he has really big eyes... and...ears! He's friends with that one kid. K...something."

Amaya knew who Cyrano was talking about. "Yes, Ka... Ka... shirtless boy, with the dark hair."

Bono and Rainbow stared at each other. Michiko was flipping out. "You know who I'm talking about! He's my neighbor, and he's tall...and he teaches... something!" She moved her hands around to suggest a nosebleed.

"Don't hurt yourself. You're still pretty weak." Rainbow said gently.

It just occurred to Bono that he had no idea who any of them were talking about, and he said as much to Rainbow, who bit her lip.

"I'm not really sure either, but the one Amaya is describing sounds familiar. He sounds like a friend of Na... of Na...Uh-oh. Bono, remember? He's friends with your boyfriend."

"Oh, Iss...Iss...I... oh my god, I can see him, but I can't remember his name!"

"What's going on? Why can't we think of their names?"

"I've heard of this." Rainbow said seriously, before turning into Super Smart Rainbow (of DOOM), complete with glasses and a power point demonstration. "We can't think of the names of our friends because we have wandered into an adjacent Anime. At any given moment, several parallel universes are touching each other, but completely inaccessible to their occupants. Occasionally, however, a gap will open between two worlds. If someone wanders into this gap, the space-time continuum will be warped, causing them to forget all outside knowledge they may have. Our boyfriends don't exist in this universe, so we cannot know them. The only reason that we can still picture them is because we still retain our emotional ties with them. Also, Amaya probably knows the Anime that our new friends are from, which is why they look familiar to her, but she cannot remember anything else, because in this universe, they are just average people."

"So how do we get back to our universe?"

"I'm not entirely sure. It is possible that the worm hole was created because something happens in this universe that we have a part in, or it could just be a fluke. If the wormhole is still open, then it may be possible simply to walk back through it. If not, we may need to find another one, or remember something important about the Anime we are from."

"Do we have to remember on our own? Or can we just read the manga?"

"Either one should work. However, we have no clue what we are looking for. It is physically impossible for us to remember any details that could lead us to finding the series. This message will self destruct in five seconds. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. ZAP!" Rainbow turned back to her normal self

"Well, that explains a lot. Let's get something to eat. I'm starving." Bono got up and left the room, followed by Amaya, Cyrano, and Rainbow. So they stumbled around a bit and found the kitchen, which was already occupied by the four guys that we met earlier. Or that you should have met, if you were paying attention. They were eating pancakes that had mysteriously appeared there, because as far as I know, none of them can cook.

"Wakey wakey." Ken paused. "Eggs and Bakey. Did you guys sleep all right?"

"Yeah, we slept fine. Thanks." Rainbow said, maybe a little seductively. Bono was right. They were on vacation to have fun.

Bono was trying to eat pancakes, but having some trouble, because Aya kept glaring at him until he (Bono) winked and licked his lips. Aya immediately turned to Cyrano, who was sitting next to him being cool and mysterious. Bono smiled. Works every time.

Amaya was talking to Omi, who was shaking from Internet withdrawal.

"So, you work at a flower shop, right?"

"Yes. We work at a flower shop, because we are normal, every day florists." He said very loudly.

"Yup. Florists. That's us." said Ken with a large and obviously fake grin. Rainbow got scared and sat down next to Bono with her pancakes.

"Yessiree. Florists who work with flowers." Aya didn't smile, but he did nod like a bobble head.

"Because flowers are your friends." Yohji added cheerfully.

"Bono?" whispered Rainbow.

"Yeah?"

"Something is very very wrong here."

"Don't make any sudden movements."

Both jumped three feet in the air when Yohji snuck up behind them. "So, have you checked on your friend today, by any chance?"

"Yes, we did. She woke up. But she's looking a little pale, and she's still pretty weak, so she couldn't come down. We should take her some soup or something." Amaya suddenly remembered the cripple sitting patiently in her room. Bono and Rainbow focused on breathing slowly.

"Do we have any of those nosebleed pills left? It looked like she could use a few." Omi added.

"Good idea. I shall take her some soup and nosebleed pills, and _maybe_ be back in a while. Heheh" And with that somewhat perverted remark, Yohji disappeared.

"Hey, Nuances? Should we be worried that we're letting an obvious lech alone with our sick, unarmed, helpless friend?" Cyrano asked.

"Nah. She makes her tests too hard and my pancakes will get cold.." Rainbow went back to her breakfast.

"Yeah, she needs to loosen up. We should leave her alone. Also, I have a theory that sex doesn't exist, so she's perfectly safe." Bono concluded.

"Anyway, helping her would be like work or something." Amaya continued her chat with Omi.

Ken walked over to Bono. "You don't have to worry. Yohji's not a bad guy. He's just a tad bit... forward sometimes."

Bono opened his mouth to reply, but Rainbow, angered because she wasn't getting the attention she was used to in large groups of men, cut him off.

"Well, Yohji obviously isn't gay or a priest...so is he a psycho killer?"

Ken laughed. "Aya is the only psycho. The rest of us are just plain old assassins."

And they all had a good laugh.

Quick A/N: Since this was originally written as an inside joke, there are several references to obscure AMVs, inside jokes, old TV shows, ect. If you would like to be enlightened, or if you just want me to apologize personally, my AIM screen name is kalliopestarmist. (Hard to remember, huh?)


	3. Violating Traffic Laws Can Be Fun

**What Happens in Weiss, Stays in Weiss -Part 2.**

By Michiko with mucho consulting of Amaya, as I think will become fairly obvious as you read.

A/N: I had way too much fun looking up pick up lines for this next scene.

Still reading? Excellent. Quickly, to one of the spare bedrooms, where Michiko has given up on her friends returning with pancakes any time soon. Someone is knocking on the door.

"It's about time. Next time you guys are sick, you can forget about any help from me. If I live through this. And I had better, or I'll haunt you till you die." She whispered to herself. She didn't have the strength to shout.

The door opened slowly, like in those cheesy horror flicks. If she hadn't been so tired, she may have been scared. Finally, the door opened and revealed (dun dun DUN) Yohji. Which doesn't seem scary to _you_, but you aren't lying helplessly on a bed with no clue what's going on. And I doubt your nose is bleeding. Pinch it if it is.

Michiko reached up to wipe the blood off her nose and groaned. "Oh no. I can't afford to lose any more blood."

Yohji set down the soup he was holding down and fished a bottle of No-Blead® pills out of his pocket. "Here. Take a few of these. They work pretty well. And drink some soup, too."

"Thanks." Being too weak to suspect poisoning, Michiko popped a couple of the nose bleed stopping pills, which worked nicely, and gulped down some soup. "Yum, instant. My favorite."

"I'm sorry, it was all we had. It's supposed to be good if you've lost blood, but if you don't like it, we could find something else..."

"Oh, no, this is fine. Instant really is my favorite." Lazy Young Adults, UNITE!

"Oh. I was thinking that you would like Campbell's." Yohji sat down on the bed, causing the audience to check the rating nervously.

"Why do you say that?" Michiko continued calmly sipping her soup. She wasn't feeling to alert today.

"Cause you're looking mmmmmm mmmmmm good." Scooting a little closer...

At this point, even Michiko could get the message. "I don't mean to be rude, but who the hell are you, and what have you done with my friends?"

"Oh, that's right. You were unconscious. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Yohji, but you can call me Anytime. .. and your friends are downstairs, doing... something...with my friends."

"I'm guessing this is your house? I should thank you for letting us stay here." Changing the subject doesn't always work, and this was one of those times. Which was what she was hoping for anyway.

"Don't mention it. It isn't everyday that a gorgeous babe shows up at your door in the middle of the night." Trust us, folks, something would have happened here if Omi hadn't popped his head in the door.

"Hey, Yohji? Have you seen the car keys? We're going out to look for Amaya's car."

Yohji forced a smile. "Omi? Can't you see I'm _busy_?"

Omi turned bright red. "Um, about that. Amaya also says that she will be very very angry if you molest her friend."

"'Molest' is a harsh word... and the keys are on top of the microwave." Messenger boy left to relay this important information to the waiting group of car-finders.

"Sorry about the interruption. That was Omi. Nice kid, bad timing..."

"Oh, that's all right. I should go help them find the car, anyway. I want to get my suitcase." Michiko, with mucho effort, crawled out of bed. "Is it just me or is it cold in here?"

"Well, you were kinda soggy when you got here last night, and so we decided to 'help' you out of your clothes. Maybe you'd like a bathrobe... or not? _We_ don't have to go car hunting."

And so Michiko realized that she was clad in underwear. Poor her. She didn't even have enough blood left to blush. "Meep! Bathrobes are good. I like bathrobes." She said, while thinking:_ Of all the days to wear my day of the week panties..._

So, just as the party was getting ready to leave, Michiko stumbled downstairs in a pink bathrobe, supported mostly by the railing and Yohji.

"A plate of school fries says she can walk on her own." Amaya whispered to Rainbow.

"No bet."

"Ok, who all is coming?" Ken, having retrieved the car keys, headed for the door.

"I am!" Bono and Rainbow jumped up at the same time.

"I want to drive." Cyrano and Aya said in unison, although Aya, as usual, seemed a bit more menacing about it. They turned on each other.

"No, I'll drive!" They said together.

"I said it first!" They chorused. "No, I said it first!"

"Neither of you is driving!" Ken, Rainbow, and Bono said.

"Why not?" asked Cyrano and Aya.

"Because you'll get us lost in the middle of nowhere and kill us!" Replied R, K, and B. Ken broke away from the group.

"I will be driving, because I don't trust any of you with the car under the circumstances. Ok, that's Bono, Rainbow, Aya, Cyrano, and me. Anyone else?"

Bono and Rainbow sighed. There would be no getting Ken with them in the backseat now.

"Yohji and I are going. You young'uns can't be trusted on your own." Michiko volunteered.

Aya took a step away from her. "Did you just say _young'uns_?"

"Yeah. It means Kids. It's the red neck in me. I grew up in the states."

Ken was counting on his fingers. "I don't see Omi and Amaya, so I guess they're not coming... but that still makes seven, and the car seats five... so we may have to double up in the backseat..."

"I want to sit in front!" called out Rainbow, Bono, and Aya at the same time. They then proceeded to have a Rock-Paper-Scissors tournament. Meanwhile, Yohji and Michiko slipped out to the car.

They tried to open the door, only to find out what had happened to Omi and Amaya.

Back in the kitchen, the Rock-Paper-Scissors match was momentarily paused as several screams and the sound of a car door slamming echoed throughout the world.

The car window rolled down, and the no-longer-missing teens poked their heads out.

"Yohji! Didn't anyone ever teach you to knock?"

"When was the last time you knocked on a_ car door_, Omi?"

"Amaya, how long have you two been out here? No, don't tell me. I don't want to know."

"Only a few minutes. And may I ask what you two were planning to do out here, Michiko?"

Yohji and Michiko quickly sat down on front passenger's seat."We were going to claim the front seat before anyone else. See? Perfectly innocent."

Amaya and Omi didn't dignify this with a response. They rolled their eyes and went back to smoothing out their hair, straightening out their clothes, etc. Then an awkward silence took over. Michiko coughed a little.

"Er... You've had...The Talk before, right?"

"NO! I mean, YES.. I mean, whatever answer will stop you from continuing!"

Michiko and Yohji sighed with relief, and the conversation turned back to normal topics until the others came out, with the winner of the Front Seat Contest in the lead.

"ROCK IS DEAD! LONG LIVE PAPER AND SCISSORS!" Rainbow shouted, throwing open the door to her hard-won prize, and finding it taken. "Hey! This is my seat! I won it!"

"We got here first!"

"Yeah, Rainbow, ya snooze, ya lose. Guess you'll just have to sit in the back seat like everybody else. Mwahahaha." Bono laughed as he tried to climb into the seat most convenient for glomping the driver. He paused to let Amaya scoot quickly onto Omi's lap as though they were doing their part to combat the National Chair Shortage.

"Come on, Michiko! I won the contest fair and square!"

"Anything worth having is worth cheating for. And I don't feel safe sitting with you guys."

"After all we did for you! You should be grateful we didn't leave you in the car!"

"Yeah, I feel really lucky to have you guys watching out for me. Don't worry about me. Just leave me lying around in the rain, or, better yet, in some guys' house in my underwear! I'll be fine!"

"Well, no harm done, so what's the big deal? Now move!" Rainbow kicked the door.

"Um. No."

Rainbow shumshed herself next to Bono. "This isn't over yet, Von Bono." She whispered as she forced the door closed. On the other side of the car, Aya was doing the same thing.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Cyrano said as she climbed through the still-opened window and tumbled onto Aya's lap. "Ok. I'm here now."

"I'm almost certain this violates some kind of traffic safety law." He (Aya) remarked as Ken started the engine. To remind you, there are currently six people in the back seat, two of whom are fighting violently to be closest to the driver.

"Yeah, and you've never broken any _laws_ before, Saint Aya." Omi muttered sarcastically.

"Well, you're certainly having fun, _aren't you_, Omi?" Aya shot back. Cyrano twitched nervously. She had an uncharacteristic craving for whipped cream. Michiko tossed her a No-Blead® pill.

"Poor Aya. He's cranky because he slept on the couch last night so you could have his room, Cyrano. Don't you feel loved?" Score 1-0, Omi's favor.

"AWWWW! That is so sweet!" Cyrano twisted around to give Aya a glomp of thanks, while the glomp-ed glared at Omi, and if looks could kill, the boy would have left the car on a stretcher.

"Hey, look, we just passed our car!" Rainbow cried, pointing out the window as they sped by an abandoned rental car that was some 30 feet off the road. The moving violation vehicle (a.k.a. the one our heros are currently crammed into) skidded to a halt, and Ken, Yohji, and Michiko got out. The others were having some trouble with their doors.

"Mmmmmmuuuuufffffffffffllll!" Yelled the car's prisoners.

"When we first got the car, we accidentally turned on the child safety locks, and we never did figure out how to turn them back off." Yohji explained.

"I'm all for letting them sit there for a while." Michiko touched a lump on the back of her head, a souvenir from the night before. She raised her voice so her friends could hear her. "FEELING ABANDONED, LITTLE SARDINES?"

Inside the car, the sardines were shifting around so that Aya could break the window.

"Slut." Muttered Bono. "It's not like she needs her long term memory or something."

Back outside the car, Ken was taking pity on his friends/fanclub and opening the door, causing six disgruntled young'uns to tumble onto the ground in a heap. But in a matter of minutes, they were up and running towards the car, and, more importantly, the trunk.

"Do you remember putting our suitcases on top? I could have sworn that they were the first things we packed." Amaya asked Rainbow anxiously as she carried her duffle to the Moving Violation's trunk.

"They probably got warped when we went through the portal. It's no big deal." Rainbow answered as Cyrano struggled by, trying to carry both the bulk case of Chocolate Reddi Whip and her suitcase at the same time. Aya went over to help her, not realizing that he was about to approach a fangirl armed with whipped cream. Oh well, you have to die somehow.

In other news, Bono was happily reunited with Bev, his spiritual adviser/tin can, and the others had retrieved their suitcases and were thinking happily about what to bring back from the rental car next. Michiko was sitting on the hood of the Moving Violation, smiling because she had decided that no lasting damage had been done to the rental car. Cyrano was about a yard from said rental when she turned to the others and randomly started talking.

"TSUKASA AMOU! That's his name. He's an Eraser, and he's got blond hair, and wings that come out of his ears, but not out of his back because Kaname tore them off, but he still has the scars, which makes him kinda self conscious. And he lives with the math teacher, Tomonori, who Michiko kinda likes, and he's taking care of her cat, and he doesn't remember much about his past. And he's also friends with Naoya and Isshin."

The other Nuances looked at each other in surprise. What a difference just a little amount of information makes. Three seconds ago, they had completely forgotten that, somewhere, was a world where they belonged, not just where they were quirky guests. Now, they were all thinking the same thing, which they expressed in unison.

"What on God's green earth are you talking about?"

Cyrano jumped up and down anxiously. "The manga we're from, It's called Juv-OOF" And Cyrano fell face down in the mud, knocked out from a muffler that hit her when the rental car exploded behind her.

"CYRANO! Are you ok?" asked the assembled group. It was a rhetorical question, however, as she was obviously out cold, and the Nuances soon moved on to their burning possessions.

"NO! MY ANIME VIDEOS!" Screamed Amaya.

"MY SKETCH PAD!" Screamed Rainbow.

"MY VIDEO CAMERA!" Screamed Bono.

"MY RENTAL CAR!" Screamed Michiko, launching herself off the hood of the non-burning car and towards her own. She got about six feet before she collapsed in the mud. Rainbow and Amaya went to help her up.

"Don't worry. We'll help pay for it." Amaya soothed her friend, who was still struggling to reach the burninated wreckage.

"My insurance rates are going to spike so high."

"It probably exploded like that because it had objects in it that would refer us back to our original universe. Such records are very unstable." Explained Super Smart Rainbow of DOOM.

"Tell that to State Farm." Michiko sighed as she allowed her friends to lead her over to where the guys had dragged Cyrano and were attempting to revive her.

"Y'know, Michiko, we know you're not that sick, so could you please stop leaning on me? My shoulder sort of hurts."

"I can't help it. I'm having trouble walking."

"Oh, whatevah. Yohji's not watching, so you can stop with the act."

"It's not an act! Who do you think I am?"

Rainbow and Amaya nodded to each other, and, with an ominous "Honesty's a virtue" dropped the unsuspecting teacher, who immediately fell to the ground. As it turns out, Michiko really wasn't faking her inability to walk, which Rainbow and Amaya realized very soon.

"I am so sorry! Are you ok?"

Michiko mumbled something. The girls bent closer.

"Michiko? Are you hurt? I'm sorry, I really thought you were faking it."

Mumble. Bend closer...

"Izumi-Sensei? I can't hear you..."

"It sounds like she's singing..." Michiko raised her head off the ground.

"Protect me from what I want. Protect me from what I-iiii want. Protect me from what I wa-ant. Protect me, protect me..." She sang, giggling a little as Amaya and Rainbow started to cry. "Ok, we're even now. Truce?"

"Truce. And I told you not to do that anymore! That song brings the sad." Rainbow remarked through her tears. For those of you who are not privy to this inside joke, this is from a Full Metal Alchemist AVM (Anime Music Video) which is both very well done, and very sad.

"Sorry. I couldn't resist. And, Amaya? Be careful around Omi. That kid has angsty past written all over him."

"That's what I love about him. And you should watch out, because Yohji's a complete sleazeball."

"Yeah, I know. Some women like a challenge. Not me."

Rainbow stopped suddenly and turned to the author. "HEY! What is with this story? I don't even LIKE Ken that much, yet I find myself in a fight to the death with Bono, who doesn't like Ken either! And why does Amaya get dibs on Omi? I _like_ Omi! Omi is cool!"

Well, Amaya lent me episodes 1-15 of Weiss, so she gets first picks.

"That is so not fair! I let you watch all those AMV's, not to mention that I've been your friend longer than you've known Amaya! Anyway, who lent you .hack, and lets you watch FMA at her house, and made that Juvenile Orion poster for you, and reviews all of your fanfiction, even when it sucks, and..." Rainbow went on, making a very fair point. The menfolk, who were still dragging Cyrano away from the car, stopped to stare.

"And Michiko and Yohji are doing God-knows-WHAT, and you have no proof that Aya CAN'T drive! And quit making me out to be a slut! I can't help it that I like Kaname and Naoya and Omi and Aya and Ed and..."

The author feels really bad, and did not mean to make you look like a slut, and yes, she knows that you can't help your feelings. And why don't you like Ken? Ken is a nice guy.

"He doesn't have a personality, that's why!"

Ken is crying, Rainbow. You hurt his feelings.

Rainbow ran over to Ken, who was crying, because the author/narrator is all powerful. BOW DOWN BEFORE ME! Oh, sorry. I'll stop. Anyway, Rainbow glomped him, because who can resist a guy as cute as Ken when he's crying? And the author promised Rainbow that at some point she (Rainbow) would get to kidnap Ed as an apology present, and that she would not refer to herself for the rest of the fic. (Although this last promise was, of course, a lie.)

"Um, Rainbow? I can't breath...I really feel better now...um.." Ken started turning blue, Bono started scowling. Why wasn't _he_ getting any action in this fic?

"This isn't over yet, Rainbow. Just you wait. Oh, Hi, Cyrano! You woke up!" Bono noticed as a random engine part went ka-boom in the distance.

"OH MY F#+&ING GOD! MY PHOTO ALBUM!" The now awake girl jumped up had to be restrained by Aya. Bono leaned over her.

"Cyrano, I want you to think very, very carefully. Now, tell me, what is the last thing you remember thinking?"

"I smell purple."

"Cyrano, how are you feeling?" Michiko asked, making notes on an imaginary clipboard.

"People tell me in one thing and out the other. I feel as much like I did yesterday as I did today. I never liked room temperature. My throat is closer than it seems. Likes and dislikes are among my favorites. No napkin is sanitary enough for me. I don't like any of my loved one."

"She'll be fine." said Bev, Bono's talking Cran-apple juice can. Another car part exploded in the background. "But we should either leave or report this to someone."

"We were only renting the cabin anyway." Ken managed to gasp from Rainbow's strangle hold.

"Yeah, they didn't have a one night only rate, and we needed it for a...OOF" This time, Omi was going OOF, because Aya had kicked him in the stomach. "Aya! That hurt."

"You're going to hurt a lot worse if you don't keep your mouth shut. What did we tell you about thinking before you talk about stuff?"

Awkward moment. Michiko started humming. "In the not too distant future, somewhere in time and space."

Yohji joined in. "Mike Nelson and his robot pals are caught in a nasty place."

The others (or Young'uns) groaned as a group. "Oh lord. (S)He's a Mistie."

"We'll send them cheesy movies! The worst we can find! He'll have to sit and watch them all..."

So, while the two Mystery Science Theater 3000 (a good show) fans were off in la la land, the others talked and decided to avoid police by packing up and leaving the cabin they were staying at, as well as the burning rental car. And thus, they piled into the car and drove back up to the house/cabin thing to pack, and, in Michiko's case, change out of Yohji's bathrobe.

Bono was sitting around the kitchen, staring into space and plotting ways to separate Rainbow from Ken, when (dun dun dun) Aya entered the room. Apparently, Aya doesn't take long to pack. "So, Bono. How are you today?" He asked threateningly.

"I'm...fine, I suppose." Bono said, eyeing possible exits.

"Your accent seems a bit odd. Where are you from?"

"(insert obscure European country here). We moved here to escape persecution in our country."

"We? Do you have other relatives? Older brother, perhaps?"

"No, I'm the oldest. I take care of my 3 little siblings."

"Do you have any cousins? Who look like you?"

"Dunno. I have cousins. but I don't know any of them. I just know they exist somewhere."

"Know anyone named Brad?"

"Umm...no?" I'm scared now...thought Bono.

"Are you sure? No distant relatives come to mind?"

"Look, I don't know anyone named Brad, ok?"

"Crawford?"

"Are you nuts?"

"Are you going to answer my question?"

"Excuse me, but 'Crawford' is not a question. It isn't even a sentence!"

"You know what I mean." Aya stood up menacingly, but, fortunately for Bono, a random voice called out randomly.

"Hey, Aya? Have you seen my toothbrush?"

"We'll continue this conversation later." Aya whispered before leaving the room.

"Yeah, like hell we will. Lord, it's not like I killed his sister or something. Something very strange is going on in this place. And I may very well decide to get to the bottom of it." Bono muttered.

And then some boring stuff happened, and Michiko was wearing dry, clean, non-revealing clothes and waiting for someone to show up and take her downstairs. She didn't notice that Aya had let himself into her room.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts." She sang joyously, up until the intruder grabbed her arm and twisted it.

"OK! I'll stop singing. Geez."

"You're from the U.S, right?"

"Well, kinda. I moved there when I was twelve."

"Ever meet a guy there?"

"Well, DUH. There are lots of guys of the male gender in the US."

"Anyone by the name of Brad Crawford?"

"That Cindy's little brother?"

"What?"

"Cindy Crawford...never mind."

"Do you know a Brad Crawford or not?"

"Ok, look, here's what happened. It was one date, and he turned out to be a complete psycho, and I was in college, and it's not like anything actually happened. I didn't even have that great a time, and could you let go of my arm?" We have yet to discover if Michiko was telling the truth, or if she just wanted to tick Aya off. With her, either one is a possibility.

"Ever hear of Schwartz?"

"Yeah. May the Schwartz be with you!" Aya gaped at her. "_Spaceballs_? With Mel Brookes? Classic! You're too young. Now let go of my arm."

"Not till you answer the question. _Have you ever hear of Schwartz?_" Enter Cyrano.

"SCHWARTZSTIEN! Only the most gender-confused band EVER!" (Cyrano assures me this is a real J-rock band.)

Aya very quickly let go of Michiko's arm and dodged out of the room. "Yeah...I have to go, I forgot a thing... Bye."

Cyrano stared at the door for a second. "What were you two doing?"

"NOTHING! Why do you guys seem to think I'm sleeping with everybody?"

"I don't know. It just seems like something you would do. And the others wanted me to tell you that we're leaving."

And, they go downstairs, only to find that Aya has taken possession of the driver's seat, causing the back seat to become a very popular method of travel. Which brings us to the conclusion that Ken ends up in the back with Rainbow and Bono. (And also Omi, Amaya, Michiko, and Yohji, but they don't count.) Cyrano puts her life on the limb and sits in front, meaning that she's in very serious danger, but she can breath normally, which is more that the others can say.

So, Aya drives like a maniac, Cyrano giggles like a maniac, and Michiko and Yohji play a game wherein they start an MST quote, and the other has to finish. The rest of the group start to hope Aya will run the car over a cliff and shut up the two rabid fans.

"What do you think I'm here for?"

"I want you to spank me... ok, I have one. All hail the truck farmer,"

"Bow down before him! Worship the truck farmer,"

"At the church of your choice."

"WILL YOU TWO BE QUIET?" Screamed the three headed monster, BRK (Bono, Rainbow, Ken. Whenever they shout in unison from now on, they shall be BRK.)

Aya turned around in his seat. "What's going on back there?" Omi leaned forward and pushed his (Aya's) head back in the direction the car was headed.

"Just, keep your eyes on the road, Ok? We can take care of ourselves." As if to back Omi up on this, Michiko suffered a severe spaz attack, because if she isn't repeating MST jokes, then she's watching the road.

"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! OMFG! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! WE'RE GOING TO CRASH INTO A PEDESTRIAN AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO END UP AS VEGETABLES IN THE HOSPIT- OOF!" That was the sound of Michiko hitting the back of the front seat as Aya slammed the brakes on. Actually, not just Michiko. The whole back seat.

"Are we there yet?" Asked the Nuances.

"No, we're not there yet. Aya? Did you turn into a senior citizen or something?" Ken asked angrily, rubbing his head where it collided with Bono's.

"NO! I did not turn into a senior citizen! I just thought maybe you would be a little more relaxed if I drove at the speed limit! You were complaining a second ago!" Aya rounded on the group and glared at them, daring them to ask about this sudden concern for their feelings.

"Meep." Said the others. Except Cyrano, who was still singing some song and wonder why they weren't moving.

And then they started moving again and ended up back in Florist Land, where happy school girls hang around and wait to see the celebrity Florists of Happy. They bring the happy. Only in this case, they bring what fangirls everywhere consider "rivals".

Inside the car, which is being mobbed by fangirls from the outside;

"How do they always know when we'll be here?"

"They don't. They sleep outside the shop." Aya pointed to several large tents and campsites pitched along the sidewalk.

"I don't feel safe..." Amaya cowered next to Omi as girls pounded on the window and yelled obscenities at her.

"It's ok. You'll be all right. I'll protect you!" Omi patted her back gallantly. Then he turned to the other guys of non-Nuance. "What are we going to do? They'll eat them alive if we take them out there!" Although Amaya wasn't paying attention, the other girls of Nuance moved far away from the windows...

"We'll have to hide them..." Yohji bit his nails. Or would have, but Michiko was clinging onto his hands in panic.

"But how?" Omi, also trying to bite his nails in a similar situation, questioned.

"Wait! I've got a plan!" Ken said dramatically.

Three seconds later, the Happy Florist Fanclub backed about 3 inches away to allow the front passenger door to open.

"Remember, Cyrano, just run for the door. Here are the keys. Don't listen to anything they say to you. I'll try to follow you as fast as I can." Aya threw his Super Cool Trench coat (of DOOM) over her head and shoved her out the door.

Rainbow watched her be enveloped by the surging crowd. "I've changed my mind. I'll just spend the night in the car."

"Hey, Y'all! Watch this!" Bono jumped out of the car with Aya and walked calmly by the jealous fangirls, even stopping to say hi to a few of them. He turned back to the car and smiled smugly.

"GRR! That little..." Rainbow paused to fume for a few seconds. "Anything he can do, I can do better! I'm going out there!" The crowd in the car gasped.

"GASP! Rainbow, NO! Suicide is not the answer!" Yelled the others. But it was too late. She had stepped out of the car. Ken jumped after her, threw his jacket over her head, and ran her to the door, where Aya, Bono, and Cyrano were waiting. From the car, the remaining people could see Rainbow clinging to Ken and muttering something smug to Bono, who stuck his tongue out at her.

"Omi, can I borrow your jacket?" Yohji asked. He turned around, to find Omi and Amaya gone. "Omi? Where did you go?"

Omi, with his jacket and his arm of Amaya's head, was running towards the beckoning safety of the flower shop. The fangirls didn't move as fast as they normally would have. What if they hurt Omi by accident?

Back at the car, Michiko and Yohji were looking around for something vaguely protective, such as a coat, or a bullet proof vest. The fangirls were angry now. Three of them had run by with four guests, and they hadn't managed to maim Omi's new friend. This was war.

"I don't think I can walk that far." Michiko whispered.

"And we can't strangle civilians." Yohji sighed. Michiko looked at him funny. What kind of time was this to be making jokes? Yohji was staring back at her. "You're pretty thin, did you know that?"

"Umm, thanks?"

"Do you think you could fit under my shirt? Then I could protect you while I carried you..."

No complaints from Michiko. Did you expect any?

The Nuances and Co. stared out the shop window from behind large flower arrangements to watch the fangirl picket line strike.

"OH! Poor Michiko! That's got to hurt!"

"They don't seem too worried about what happens to Yohji, do they?"

"No, they haven't really hurt him, yet." Ken cringed. "I spoke too soon."

"I don't think she'll recover as fast as we had hoped." Aya observed glumly. The others did a little victory dance behind the petunias.

"SLEEP OVER, SLEEP OVER!" Sang the non-Aya part of the group, while the part of the group consisting of Aya went over to open the door, which Yohji was pounding on desperately.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET US IN! THEY'RE GOING TO KILL US! AYA! KEN! OMI! ANYONE! OPEN THE DOOR!"

"Are you all right?" Asked the collective group as Yohji and Michiko gasped on the floor.

"Yeah. This is perfectly normal. I enjoy lying on the floor" Michiko muttered.

"It's weird, they usually don't react to Yohji's girlfriends..."

"Amaya coming must have angered them..."

"This was MY fault? Michiko! I'm sorry! I killed you!"

"It's ok. I'm not quite dead. I'm just no longer living in the same sense as you are."

"Yohji, you should quit smoking."

.+Hacking cough+ "Shut up" +Hacking cough+

"Do you guys want some popcorn?" asked ADD Omi.

"Popcorn is good." Agreed the part of the group that was not going into cardiac arrest on the floor. And they left.

"Umm? Guys? Little help?" Michiko tried to turn her head to towards her friends, but as she was still caught in Yohji's shirt, there was a problem. "Whatever. We'll just sit here."

"+wheeze+" agreed Yohji.

So the others had a popcorn party, and when the fangirls all fainted outside (thanks to an idea of Aya's involving an open window and Omi's shirt) they fetched their various suitcases, duffles, bags, boxes, Reddi-Whip, backpacks, and purses, and then went to bed to get some well deserved sleep.


	4. Florists, Huh?

Part 3- What Happens in Weiss, Stays in Weiss.

By Michiko. With Help from Amaya, and many requests from the Nuances in General.

So, everybody went to sleep, right? Then let's cut back to early morning, where once again people are waking up. Umm, that's about it. On second thought, let's just skip early morning. Let's move on to later, when the Nuances decide to have an emergency meeting, and the non-Nuances also decide to have an emergency meeting. So Nuances piled into a random room, and non-Nuances sat around the living room with the huge plasma TV that only very successful florists can afford.

"This meeting of the Nuances of Toast is called to order." Bono announced. "Please rise and join me for the Nuance Pledge."

"Where there's smoke, there's Toast!" Recited the Nuances.

"Ok. So, why are we having a meeting? Is there a problem?" Amaya asked.

"Yes, there is a problem. Something really weird is going on here. Aya tried to kill me. These guys do not seem like the type to enjoy being florists, and Cyrano found a small supply of weapons." Bono explained.

"He tried to kill you too?" Michiko gasped.

"YES! He started asking me about my family, and then he started talking about this guy named Brad and I was like 'What?' and he was like 'GRR!' and I'm like 'yeah, WHATEVER!'"

"He was asking me about 'Brad' too! And he started talking about... Shorts? I think. Did he talk to anyone else?" The Nuances shook their heads.

"What did he ask _you_ about shorts, Michiko, but not Bono?" Rainbow asked curiously.

"I dunno. Because he's crazy?... Wait, why do you ask?"

"No reason. Just want to get to the _bottom_ of this." Giggled Rainbow. Puns are your friends.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THAT I'M SLEEPING AROUND?"

"I never said that. I was _about_ to say that. But I never said that."

Bono jumped between the two before Michiko could strangle Rainbow. "ANYWAY! What are we going to do? Something is wrong with this whole scenario. We should really be trying to find a way back to our universe. And we should be trying to figure out where we are. If we find out, then we'll know what's going on."

"Why do we have to leave? I'm having fun!" Amaya complained.

"Because, dear, we have to get back in about a week. Remember? We're on vacation. Our friends back home will get worried." Bono answered gently.

Super Smart Rainbow of DOOM returned to prove Bono wrong. "Actually, going through the worm hole will cause a gap in time. According to my calculations, we have about a month before we have to be back. Even then, we'll still have one more day to hike back to civilization."

"HA HA! WE DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE! WE DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE!" Amaya and Michiko did a kirby-style victory dance.

"Ok, but we should still be looking for our universe-thingy. Bono's right... these guys do act a little strange... Not that there's anything wrong with that, but Michiko and Yohji get along so well, they just _have_ to be ax murders. So, Amaya, you try to remember as much as you can about them, and we should all write down anything we remember about our past lives in general. Next time the guys leave, we'll sort through their stuff and see if we find anything." Cyrano took command. The Nuances agreed to this, and the meeting ended. Then they sat around awkwardly.

"Do you want some potato chips? Or Coke? I could go grab some." Amaya offered. The Nuances nodded. Food is always good.

"I'll come too! I'll come too!" Cyrano followed her out the door. They walked down the hall, and then over to the stairs. Then they paused, because the voices of the non-Nuances were floating up towards our eavesdropping heroines.

"DON'T YOU GET IT? THESE PEOPLE ARE SPIES! SCHWARTZ SENT THEM HERE!"

"Aya, keep your voice down! They'll hear you. Take deep breaths. You don't have any proof that they're out to kill us. They've been very nice." Omi was saying.

"Yeah, Omi, if by 'they' you mean Amaya and by 'nice' you mean..."

"Omi's right. Aya, you're just being paranoid. They seem harmless enough." Ken interrupted.

"Whatever, Ken. Haven't you noticed that Bono looks just like Crawford? Don't tell me that's coincidence. He's even from somewhere around Germany, like Schuldich."

"Who?"

"The guy with the really big poofy orange hair."

"Ah. Schuldich. And that _still_ doesn't prove anything. There are lots of people from Europe who look like Bono."

"Omi, you are so naive. What are the odds that Crawford's European twin is running around with his old girlfriend, and they just happen to bump into us?"

"Girlfriend? What?"

"Michiko told me that she knew our American friend very well in college, if you get my drift."

"Aya, were you harassing Michiko? No wonder she told you that. She'd have thought it was hysterically funny." Yet somehow Yohji didn't sound amused.

"Yes, I was harassing her! Somebody has to watch out for you and your hormones. She's probably going to kill you in your sleep."

The sound of Yohji smacking somebody's forehead echoed up the stairs. "If she was really on a mission to kill and/or spy on us, she wouldn't have told you that she was dating Crawford, she would have said she never heard of him."

"Unless she knew that you would think that if she told you, so she told us to take suspicion off of her and her friends." Aya pointed out.

"Aya? Your obsession with finding plots to kill us is getting out of hand. None of the Nuances has made a threatening move, and you're sneaking up behind them and trying to break their arms and asking them confusing questions, aren't you?"

"You know what, Ken? Shut up."

"Oh, good comeback, Aya! Did you think that one up all by yourself?" Omi asked. Omi-2, Aya-0.

"You're all fools, and it serves you right when your new 'friends' stab you in the back. And I'm going to say _I told you so_ all I want. So neener neener neener!" When Aya gets really angry, he goes back to time tested insults he learned in kindergarten.

"I do believe you are trying to razz us, Aya. Until you can give us actual, proven evidence that the Nuances are spies and/or assassins, then please, don't scare them away. And no going through their suitcases while they're sleeping, either. Ok. Meeting adjourned. We have stuff to do." Yohji shut Aya up, and Cyrano and Amaya ran off to deliver this new information to the Nuances, who may be in more danger than they thought.

The frightened girls burst into the room where the Nuances were waiting for potato chips and Coke.

"YES! Where are the snackies?" Rainbow asked eagerly.

"There aren't any snacks. We have a problem. Aya thinks that we're out to kill them."

"What? Why would anyone want to kill them? They're florists, for goodness sakes! What's the worst they could have done? Caused incurable hay fever?" Bono laughed bitterly.

"What did the others say? Do _they_ think we're evil, too?" Michiko whimpered.

"Why are there no snacks?" Rainbow asked tearfully.

"I don't know why someone would want to kill them. Maybe they're drug dealers or something. I've never seen a florist with such a nice T.V. And what does razz mean?" Cyrano mumbled thoughtfully. What _does_ razz mean? Does anyone know?

"No, Michiko. Yohji does not think you're evil. Aya's the only one. And who is this Crawford, and how well did you know him?" Amaya asked slyly.

"The guy Aya was asking about? Do you know him, Michiko?" Bono gasped as his teacher turned a shade of red usually seen only on stop signs. Just then, there was a knock at the door, and Ken poked his head in.

"Hey, we have to go out for a bit now, we have to..." Ken paused, and the Nuances could hear Omi whispering to him. "Buy groceries. Because we don't have any lewd... OOF." Omi whispered some more. "Oh, duh. Food. I meant food. We'll be back in a little bit. Are you going to be ok?" The Nuances nodded, and Ken's head vanished. A few minutes later, a car pulled away.

"Ok! Let's root through their stuff!" Cyrano suggested.

"YAY! I love going though other people's stuff!" Rainbow jumped up. "I'll go though Ken's room!"

"No way, Rainbow, I'm going though Ken's room!" Bono shouted. "And I bet I find something important! And shiny!"

"GRR! I'm rooting through Ken's room! I called it first!"

"I'm rooting through Omi's room!" Amaya added, although no one heard her.

"I'll be in Aya's room if anyone wants me!" Cyrano called over the sound of Rainbow and Bono trying to tear each other's eyes out.

"Bono, Rainbow called it first. And I need someone to help me get to Yohji's room." Michiko tried to separate them.

Anyway, stuff happens, Author gets lazy, Bono and Michiko end up in Yohji's room.

"See, this is more fun that going through Ken's room on your own?" Michiko asked the brooding Bono. "Look! Here's a Rolex! It's shiny! I want to wear it." As Michiko put on her cool shiny prize, Bono kicked the dresser. And low and behold, it opened, to reveal a bunch of unmarked tapes.

"Ah ha! I just knew Yohji would have a bunch of porno flicks sitting around! It's my lucky day! HEY, RAINBOW! GUESS WHAT I FOUND THAT YOU DIDN'T?" Bono dashed down the hallway, once again leaving Michiko, still staring at her shiny new watch.

The rest of the Nuances met in the room with the plasma T.V. Bono popped the tape into the video player.

"Wait! Bono, if this is Yohji's... What if he and..." Amaya glanced nervously at Michiko, who showed up downstairs magically (by which I mean with help from Rainbow) "We could be scarred for life!"

"Well, only one way to find out!" Bono made sure he had his finger on the STOP button. "Ok, ready, steady... GO!" Bono pressed PLAY and closed his eyes.

"Your mission..."

Five minutes later, the Nuances were confuzzled.

"White hunters of Light, Hunt the Tomorrow of the Beasts of Darkness." Said Mystery Figure in Front of the Very Bright Window of DOOM. Then the tape went blank.

"What the hell was that all about?" Bono asked.

"Wait, didn't that last line imply that they were supposed to kill that one guy?" Michiko the Poetry Teacher asked. "How long have they been gone?" She turned back to her watch.

"Target? Evil? What? James Bond?" Cyrano blinked.

"I'm confused!" Rainbow shouted.

"They're assassins, aren't they? They're killing people... and silhouette guy is their leader? I bet they're all named after cats. " Amaya's memories slowly came back into focus.

"GAH! CAN'T...BREATH!" Michiko caused a slight disturbance by being strangled by a wire that popped out of the shiny watch of DOOM. So the Nuances rescued her, but not before Amaya's brain-remembering thing ended.

A few hours later, Yohji, Ken, Aya, and Omi got back with groceries that they had barely remembered to buy on their way back. They struggled happily through the crowd of fangirls and walked through the flower shop to their apartment thing. The Nuances were waiting with accusing glares.

"Must have been pretty busy at the local supermarket, huh?" Rainbow asked menacingly.

"Yeah, and traffic was really bad." Ken answered quickly.

"Yeah. That trip _killed_ a lot of time, didn't it?" Cyrano asked, also menacingly.

"You could say that." Aya responded.

"Looks like people were just _dying_ to get to the checkout line." Bono said. Assume they are all being menacing, ok?

"It was pretty busy." Ken said, trying to step around the Nuances.

"In fact, it looks like it got a little _violent_." Michiko stared pointedly at the blood on the assassins' clothes.

"Uh-huh. There was a real mob. You wouldn't believe." Yohji said as they tried to shift their grocery bags to hide the bloodstains.

"I hope that the security cameras got a _tape_ of everything. That way, if someone was _hurt_, they could catch the _criminals_." Amaya said dryly.

Omi became very interested in the ground. "Umm... yeah. That would be good. I don't think any one got hurt, though. Double Coupon Days get rowdy sometimes, that's all."

"Michiko? What happened to your neck?" Yohji very quickly changed the subject.

"Well, I was trying to find out what time it was, and I was attacked by the watch." She said curtly as she rubbed the red welts on her throat.

"The watch attacked you? Are you serious? How can a watch strangle...oh." Ken stopped mid-giggle.

"Umm...can we get by and put the groceries away? They're kinda heavy..." Omi tried, once again unsuccessfully to get by the angry Toast Nuances.

"What did you guys get for dinner? Did you buy Weiss... I mean rice?" Rainbow asked innocently.

"Gulp." Said Weiss.

"Y'know, keeping videos of your 'missions' in the bottom drawer is not always the best way not to get caught." Bono pointed out, waving the incriminating tape.

"Nor is it a good idea to save your favorite stalker sites on your 'Favorites' list." Amaya added.

"You were on my computer?" Omi dropped the bags he was carrying, and a crossbow fell out. Everybody stared at it for a second, pondering this new development, until Ken bent down to pick up the various darts that were rolling around, and accidentally pressed the button in his gloves that causes the claws to come out. He quickly put his hands behind his back.

"You don't work to well under pressure, do you?" Cyrano observed.

"Alright, let's face it. They've figured us out. We have to confess...we..." Aya searched around for a plausible lie to explain the killer watch, crossbow, claws, and blood.

"Work as assassins, and the flower shop is just a cover?" Prompted Michiko.

"I TOLD YOU THEY WORK FOR SCHWARTZ! HOW ELSE COULD THEY HAVE KNOWN?" Aya lost control. He, also, does not work well under pressure.

"Well, Aya, I kinda did have a few mission assignment tapes...lying around..." Yohji admitted.

"And I did save my favorite 'information' sites on my compy." Omi blushed.

"And Yohji's spare garret wire did almost strangle Michiko, and Omi did drop his bow right in front of them, and I am wearing metal claws, and we are all covered in blood." Ken added.

"And you did leave for groceries six hours ago." Cyrano pointed out. "We may be spastic, oblivious fangirls, but we can take a hint."

"Ok. We're assassins. We're a group called Weiss, and we kill the baddies of the world. We don't kill innocent people or anything. They always deserve it." Omi broke down and spilled what was left of the beans.

"All right. That's settled. Do you need help with those groceries? They look heavy." Amaya rushed over to help Omi.

So they had a good laugh and everybody put away groceries and ate dinner and attempted awkward conversations.

"So... you don't care about the whole assassin thing?" Omi asked nervously.

"No. Why would we care?"

"Well, we do kill people and stuff. I dunno. It bothers some people."

"Don't worry. It doesn't bother us." Cyrano went back to her food.

"Hey, if you know our secret, I think it's only fair that you tell us some of yours." Aya remarked causally, staring very hard at Bono and Michiko.

"YOHJI! Aya is trying to threaten the Nuances again! Make him stop!" tattled Omi.

"No, Aya's right. It's fair that they tell us something." Yohji took Aya's side, bringing the score to 2-1, although Omi is still winning.

"There's really not much to tell. We don't remember enough about ourselves. We aren't from this universe. We came through some kind of warp to get here. Rainbow can explain." Bono relinquished the spotlight to Super Smart Rainbow of DOOM, who brought out the power point presentation that the Nuances had seen earlier, and explained the situation.

"Wait, you can't have any connections to our enemies, so you aren't out to get us. That is good. That means we don't have to kill you." Ken said cheerfully.

Aya connected the dots. "HEY! Michiko, you lied to me. Brad Crawford isn't even from your reality! There's no way you knew him in college!"

"Actually, it is quite possible she knew him. I have heard that it is very easy to find wormholes in the U.S." Super Smart Rainbow smiled sweetly. "Now, tell us, Michiko. Do you know this guy?"

Before Michiko could answer, the phone rang, and the members of Weiss all ran to get it, and came back a second later. Telemarketer.

"So, what were we talking about?" Ken asked, sitting down.

"I don't remember." Replied Bono. Rainbow went back to doodling on her napkin.

In the background, Omi was chatting on the phone. "Hello!... No. I'm not the one who pays the phone bill... No... Sure, I can take a message... Really? Lower our long distance bill? You can do that? Wow. That is awesome. Do you like tuna fish? ...I'm 17... Yes, really!... No, you can't talk to my parents! My parents are...um... dead... Yeah. So up yours, 'Tina'!... Oh, oh, yeah? Well, listen up, you little telemarketing twerp, how many times have you ever...OOF!"

"Gimme that phone!" Yohji slammed the receiver down hard enough to send phone shards into the ears of the unfortunate 'Tina'. The group finished dinner and decided to watch a movie. More specifically, Yohji and Michiko decided to have a Mystery Science Marathon, and the Nuances agreed without knowing what they were getting into.

(A/N: I'm not sure we covered MST well enough in the intro. It's hard to describe, but it involves watching the worst movies ever made, so it takes a certain personality to watch it without vomiting. Once again, IM me with all questions/comments.)

Weiss, however, knew better. Or at least, Ken did.

"I'm going to take a shower. Or smash things with a hammer. Or commit suicide. Anyway, I'll be doing something less painful than this."

The others settled down to see what the cult-like fuss was all about. Heh heh. Poor things.

During the fourth episode (Eegah), Omi, who was looking very pale, scooted closer to Aya.

"Aya, I'm feeling a little nauseous...Make it stop." He whispered, trying not to attach the others' attention.

"I know. Don't worry, buddy. I'll get you out of here. Sit here for a second." Aya stood up and headed for the exit. "It's my turn to write up the mission report, right? I should get started. You know how I procrastinate. Omi? How do you start the word processor on your computer?"

"It's kinda weird, I think it has a virus. I'd better show you." Omi played along.

"But you're going to miss the best part!" Yohji warned them, but nobody stopped them from leaving.

Once outside in the light, Omi ran up to Aya and gave him a very shaky hug. "Thank you so much! I thought I was going to die! I'm sorry I ever ever mocked you about being paranoid, or about how you drive, or about how you ignore me in public..."

"You would have done the same for me. That's no show for a kid like you to be watching in large doses. And I know you don't mean it when you tease. It's ok. Stop crying. It's no big deal... Omi? Omi, could you let go of me?"

Fortunately for Aya, (and the people without the sense to get away from the TV earlier) a high pitched scream issued from the depths of the apartment thing, and within seconds, everybody had arrived at the scream's source. Or as close to it as they could get without being torn to shreds.

"Rainbow, Bono, put the weapons down and step away from Ken" Aya made an ill fated attempt at talking the two combatants down. Rainbow and Bono continued to glare at one another, completely ignoring the new spectators. Ken was huddled in fetal position against the wall, protecting his head.

"All right, Bono von Bono. It's time to settle this once and for all."

"Unless you'd like to walk away now and save yourself, Rainbow."

"Move me closer." Michiko ordered her human crutch, Yohji. "Children, please! Let's talk about this. Why are you fighting?"

"Well, we snuck out of the movie because we heard Ken say he was going to take a shower..."

"And Bono started saying that..."

"Nu-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Nu-uh!"

"CHILDREN! Stop it, or you're both going to get a time-out!" The two high school students paused and started to lower their swords uncertainly.

"Is this what you have to deal with?" Yohji whispered to the peace-maker.

"Yup. Every day." Michiko remarked dispassionately.

The whole of Weiss made a silent vow never to mock the teaching profession ever again.

However, this brief pause broke the spell, sending the assailants beyond all human contact. Rainbow and Bono blinked and went back to threatening each other.

"I'm warning you, Bono, you had better run now, because I'm showing no mercy from here on out. I'm going to kill you, with your own sword, nonetheless,"

"It's my sword. Not his sword. My sword. They're both my swords." Aya uttered. Cyrano touched his arm and shook her head.

"You don't want to get involved in this."

Rainbow was still talking. "With your own sword, nonetheless, which, in the very immediate future, will become my sword."

"Bitch. You don't have a future." Bono retaliated.

"You don't have a sword, either. It's MY sword." Aya grumbled as the two fighters circled each other and Michiko tried, unsuccessfully, to gain control of the situation.

"Ken, don't make any sudden movements." She shouted helpfully to the hyperventilating figure on the floor.

"Well, DUH! I figured that one out on my own. Help." Meanwhile, Bono swung his sword around and knocked a flower arrangement off of the end table, causing Omi to cringe.

"I spent two hours on that!"

Michiko pulled on her ear nervously, glancing from the fight; to Ken, still huddled on the floor; to Aya, who was seconds from running up and grabbing back his stolen blades; to Omi, crying over his dead flowers; to Amaya and Cyrano, who knew what she was thinking before she said a word.

"NO! Michiko, there has to be another way!" Amaya shouted, tears in her eyes.

The teacher shook her head sadly. "There isn't. This is the only chance we have."

Cyrano understood. She nodded. "It has to be done, Amaya." The Weiss boys stared at the three girls. What horrible weapon was about to be unleashed upon them all?

Michiko closed her eyes. "I'm really sorry about this." She murmured, then started singing softly. "Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you."

Bono responded on gut instinct without looking up. "No you can't."

Rainbow thought he was talking to her. "Yes I can!"

"No you can't!" They continued to circle each other, but in a more choreographed way.

"Yes I can!"

"No you can't!"

Rainbow spazzed and jumped up and down. "Yes, I can, YES I CAN!"

"Anything you can be, I can be greater. Sooner or later I'm greater than you!" Snickered Bono.

Rainbow snorted. "No you're not!"

"Yes I am."

"No you're not." Rainbow thrust with her sword.

"Yes I am!" Bono parried.

"No you're not." She broke away with a spin.

"Yes I am, YES I AM!" Bono came at her waving his sword to a neat little dance number. "I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge!"

"I can get a sparrow, with a bow and arrow." Rainbow pushed him back and came at him.

"I can live off bread and cheese!" Boasted Bono. Rainbow paused.

"And nothing but that?"

Bono puffed out his chest. "Yeah."

"So can a rat." Rainbow rolled her eyes and continued the dance.

"Any note you can sing, I can sing higher!" Bono tried to repair his deflated ego.

"I can sing any note higher than you."

"No, you can't!"

Rainbow raised her voice a few notes. "Yes, I can."

Bono went higher. "No, you can't!"

"Yes, I can."

"No, you can't!" Bono went all out.

"Yes, I caaaaaaan!" A mirror broke. Bono stared at her.

"How do you sing that high?"

"I'm a girl!" Bono paused to consider this information before going on. "Any note you can sing, I can sing softer!"

"I can say anything softer than you!"

"No you can't." Bono protested quietly.

"Yes I can." Whispered Rainbow.

"No you can't." Breathed Bono.

The group could barely hear Rainbow's response. "Yes, I can."

Bono's lips moved, but no sound came out. Rainbow couldn't take it anymore.

"YES, I CAN, YES I CAN!" She hollered at the top of her lungs.

Meanwhile, Ken had taken a bottle of a dubious looking liquid out of his pocket and was about to take a drink from it, to steady his nerves, when Bono yanked said bottle from his hands and chugged some.

"I can drink my liquor, quicker than a flicker." He sang as Rainbow appropriated the bottle.

"I can do it quicker." Rainbow finished off the beverage, which her stomach immediately rejected. "And get even sicker." She added while sprinting towards the bathroom. Bono waited a few minutes for her to get back.

"I can open any safe." He announced as she returned.

Rainbow's mouth dropped open. "Without getting caught?" Bono nodded. "That's what I thought, you crook." The pair picked up their swords again.

"Anything you can wear, I can wear better." Bono, King of Fashion, smirked.

"In anything you would wear, I'd look better than you."

"In my coat?" Bono suggested as the props people (A.K.A. Cyrano and Amaya) threw the aforementioned article at Rainbow, who put it on. Given that Bono's coat is actually a woman's pea-coat, she did look better. (Although it looks very nice on Bono as well.)

"In your vest." Rainbow threw open the coat, reminding the audience that she had borrowed Bono's vest that morning.

"In my shoes?" Bono showed off his black skids.

"In your hat." Props handed Bono's lucky sombrero to Rainbow, but Bono snatched it back before she could wear it and held it over her head.

"No you can't!"

Using her sword, Rainbow retrieved the hat and pulled it onto her head. "Yes, I can, Yes, I can!"

Fuming, Bono took the speed of the dance up a notch. "Anything you can say, I can say faster!" He challenged furiously.

"I can say anything faster than you!"

"Noyoucan't!"

"YesIcan!"

"Noyoucan't"

"YesIcan!"

The two started to overlap each other, so a few "YesNoIYouCan't!"'s were all that could be heard. The two Broadway singers scowled at each other for an instant, then Bono turned neatly away from Rainbow and jumped over Ken's head as he tried to crawl away.

"I can jump a hurdle!"

Rainbow kneeled down next to Ken and stage whispered to him. "I can wear a girdle. (And if you want to see it sometime...)"

"I can knit a sweater!" Bono pulled a sweater he had knitted for his sister out of thin air. Rainbow pulled it on over her vest.

"I can fill it better!"

"I can do most anything!"

Rainbow pulled a pie out of thin air and offered it to Bono. "Can you bake a pie?"

"No." He admitted before taking a bite.

"Neither can I." Rainbow confessed as Bono spit out the piece of 'pie' she had made.

"Any note you can hold, I can hold longer!" Bono proclaimed, getting ready for the finale.

"I can hold any note longer than you." Rainbow declared dramatically.

"No, yooooouuuuuu can't!"

"Yes, I can!" Rainbow wasn't trying at all.

"No, you caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan't!"

"Oh, yes, I can." Bono was certain he had won this round.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, you can't!"

Rainbow smiled slyly. "Yes, Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-"

The assembled group turned to one another.

"Damn." Omi stated. There was nothing else to say.

"iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-"

The group sat down in shock. Except Ken, who was already sitting down, and Bono, who was getting ready for his last line.

"iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii can." Rainbow gasped out the last word.

"Yes you caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" Bono sang, sliding to his knees Broadway-style. The song ended, and Bono walked over to Rainbow. "Where do you keep all that air?"

"Eh," she panted, then passed out.

"Oh." Bono paused. "Wait, what was that supposed to mean?"

The rest of the group to advantage of Bono's uncertainty to pounce on him and Rainbow, take away their swords, and move Ken to a safe, undisclosed location (ok, they moved him about three feet.). They did this quickly and efficiently, having come up with the plan while Rainbow was singing her final note. I say final because Rainbow was not recovering so well.

"Rainbow. Wake up. Its morning time!" Cyrano coaxed.

"Ed's in the shower, Secret Agent Rainbow! Grab the whipped cream and let's go!" Amaya opted for a method that had worked in the past.

"I have a idea. Why don't we leave her lying in the rain in her underwear?" Michiko asked. Amaya punched her arm.

"You said we had a truce!"

"I was only joking!" Lied Michiko.

"I'm sorry, Rainbow! You can have Ken!" Bono promised out of panic. Rainbow didn't move. "Wow. She's really out cold."

Aya looked away from his swords and noticed, for the first time, the girl in the coma on the floor, which immediately caused him to panic."Rainbow? RAINBOW! Wake up! Wake up! Stay away from the light! Please, please, wake up! Do any of you know CPR?"

"Ken, didn't you take that child first aid course when you started teaching soccer?" Yohji asked craftily.

"Yeah, but I don't see what that has to do with..."

"Didn't they teach you CPR?"

"Uh-huh... but..." Ken threw a frightened glimpse at Bono, who was still trying to wake Rainbow up. Actually, he was panicking, but not on the level Aya was.

"KEN SHE'S GOING TO GO INTO A COMA AND DIE AND IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO DAMN SCARED AND YOU'LL REGRET IT ALL YOU LIFE YOU MISERABLE PERSON!" Busy shoving Ken down next to Rainbow, Aya forgot how to use punctuation marks.

"Aya, deep breaths. You may consider psychological help, too." Omi suggested.

"You're one to be talking. Say one more word about my spaz attacks, and I'll kidnap you."

"That is not funny. Not funny at all." Score is tied at 2-2.

The others missed the drama between the two scarred-for-life guys, however, because they were watching Ken revive Rainbow via mouth-to-mouth. This sparked several bouts of muffled laughter from the part of the hall where Yohji and Michiko were apparently telling jokes that the younger generation wasn't privy too.

"Come on, Rainbow. Breath. Please?" Bono begged his catatonic friend as Ken worked on making this very thing happen.

"Do you really think she's going to admit she's awake when she does regain conscious?" Cyrano whispered to Amaya.

"Her nose will start to bleed. Then we'll know."

In fact, Rainbow woke while this conversation was taking place, but closed her eyes very quickly as soon as she realized what was going on. She was listening to the voice in her head.

"_Rainbow, this is the narrator. Still mad at me?"_ It asked her.

"_No, no. Not at all. Does this mean I won the singing contest?"_ Sighed Rainbow to herself before she decided to be honest and open her eyes. Ken and Bono noticed this at the same time, causing Ken to scoot away and blush, and Bono to glomp Rainbow.

"I thought you were going to die! Don't scare me like that." Bono stopped for second. "But don't think that just because Ken was snogging you means this is over. We're still fighting."

Rainbow smiled. "I know. But, still, point for me!"

Bono was too sophisticated to start an argument with the author, but it was easy to tell he wanted too. His teeth were grinding loudly enough for Michiko to hear them.

"Bono, come here. I want to talk with you." She called as she broke away from Yohji and slumped onto the floor. Bono obediently sat down next to her. "Bono, there comes a time in everybody's life when they need to know a few things about dating."

"I've already had The Talk, if that's where you're going with this."

"No, no. I want to tell you a pick-up secret."

"I'm listening."

"Helplessness can go a long way with anime guys."

"What kind of secret is that?"

"You don't believe me. Who is more likely to be escorted to the door, the girl being attacked by fangirls, or the guy walking through the mob smoothly? Does the one who passes out attract more concern than the one who didn't? Do you really think that I would be getting as much attention if I could walk?"

Although awed by this revelation, Bono had to stop her there. "I think you would still be getting a fair amount of attention."

"That's not the point. The point is, if you don't overdo it, being a little dependent once in a while can give you the upper hand on this kind of competition. Comprende?"

"Yeah. I get it. Thanks, Michiko. I just..."

"What?"

"I miss our world. We just don't fit here the way we do back at the farm."

Laughing, Michiko ruffled his hair. "See, you can be angsty when you want. Now, just try that around Ken." Bono sighed. He was kinda being serious. If only the others were as eager to get home as he was, but they seemed to forget they even had a home. Bono reached into his pocket absently, and pulled out a napkin with some doodling.

_Hmm. Must be Rainbow's_, He thought, un-crumpling it and looking down at the picture of chibi Rainbow hugging a chibi boy Bono didn't recognize. But, of course, the Omniscient Audience does, and realizes that Bono isn't the only Nuance longing for their natural habitat.


	5. Angst, It's a good thing

**What Happens in Weiss, Stays in Weiss: Part 3 or 4. I lost count.**

Yes, Michiko is still the writer.

This should be posted under angst as a second sub category. Rainbow and Amaya both say that they wanted to cry at places. I love messing with my friends' emotions. I'm also trying to keep this under 20 pages. Fat chance. Oh, and quick A/N that we didn't cover in the intro. The guy Bono von Bono's character is based on looks exactly like Brad Crawford, only nicer (well, duh). I swear. He even has the glasses. So, if you were wondering where Aya is getting these conspiracy theories, now you know. Back to the story.

After the Annie Oakley incident, nothing worth writing about really happened. Well, Michiko got back on her feet. See, the other Nuances woke up in the morning and found her sitting around the kitchen with a bowl of ice cream (Michiko's breakfast of choice), apparently alone.

"Good morning!" She chirped as the others looked around for Yohji. "Want something for breakfast? They have mint chocolate chip."

"Where's Yohji?"

"I dunno. I would guess he's still asleep."

"Did he leave you here all night?"

"No. So far _you_ would be the only ones who routinely leave me stranded."

"So, how did you get here?"

Michiko stood up and took her bowl over to the sink. "I walked. How did you get here?" After a few seconds for their still-asleep brains to process this information, the overjoyed teens tackled their buddy, who did **not** immediately lose her balance and fall to the floor. Yup, she was feeling better.

"Thanks, guys. I love you too. So, what are we going to do today?"

"I was thinking we could look for our manga. Maybe I'm alone on this, but where ever we are, it is quickly not becoming my favorite anime." Bono was still homesick, still furious at the outcome of the singing contest, and still not screaming at the author. Now, that's self control.

Rainbow shrugged. "We could go through the list at I swear they have a category for every anime ever conceived. We could just go down the list. If we've heard of it, then we just ignore it and go on. If we haven't, then we read a few stories and see if we remember anything."

Three seconds later, Amaya; who, for God only knows why, had been elected most computer savvy, was attempting to log onto the Internet. This was pretty comical, as Amaya is not the person you want messing with your computer. Amaya is the kind of person whose knowledge of computers ends at turning on the monitor. Amaya has been known to activate viruses merely by glancing at a screen.

"This page cannot be displayed? I wonder what that's all about." She said, tapping control-alt.-delete in an effort to hit the "refresh" button.

"No, wait, try doing this." Rainbow grabbed the mouse away from the computer illiterate and did a complicated little thing that caused to appear in all its about-to-freeze-your-computer glory. She continued to navigate over Amaya's shoulder, going through the extensive list of every anime in all of time, reading them out loud.

"3x3 Eyes?"

"I've heard of it, vaguely."

"Ai no Kusabi?"

"Yeah, I know what that is."

"I can't pronounce this, so I assume we aren't from there, can't pronounce...Alice 19th?"

"Heard of it."

"Angel Sanctuary?"

"Hell no! Even if we are from there, I refuse to go back!"

"Ok, that's a No. Angelic Layer?" This goes on for some time, and much later, they're only on the D's, because they had to stop and read some stories on ones they didn't recognize. I'm not sure if you've ever tried to read fanfiction for something you know nothing about, but it is tedious.

"DN Angel we've seen. Darkside Blues we'll come back to... Darkstalkers..."

"Doesn't sound like something I'd want to be from. Let's skip it."

"Death Note doesn't sound promising..." Let's cut to a commercial break. When we get back, the others are sitting on the ground, looking bored to tears, responding to Rainbow's questions in a monotone.

"Ghost in the shell?"

"Heard of it."

"Guys, I'm going to go take a shower. I haven't had one in, like, two days. I'm all gross." Michiko stood up (because she can walk now!), and left the others to their list.

"Gravitation?"

"I love Gravitation!"

(Insert transitional statement here)

"I bet we're from something at the end of the alphabet."

"Yeah, Rainbow, let's go backwards for a while."

"Ok, but let's finish the J's first. Juline?"

"I think I've heard of it..."

"Good. Juvenile...Orion," Rainbow paused because she could hear the click of a crossbow being loaded behind her.

"Step away from the computer, and nobody dies!" Whispered a voice behind her.

Rainbow very slowly scooted her chair back and stood up, careful not to make any threatening moves. "Good morning, Omi."

Meanwhile, Aya and Ken were yelling at a person whom they suspected was Omi, but couldn't prove, because said person was in the shower.

"Hurry up, Omi, you're using up the hot water!" Ken kicked the door repeatedly. This had little affect on the showerer, because they were singing much to loud to be able to hear.

"When the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars..."

"Omi sings like a girl. I've never noticed." Ken remarked.

"And he sings really badly, too. I'm coming in there, like it or not!" Fortunately for the shower's occupant, the door lock thwarted Aya's plan.

"It's the Dawning of the Age...OF AQUARIUS, the age of Aquarius!" sang the shower.

Ken was trying to remember how to pick locks when Yohji dashed up to them.

"Have you seen Michiko? I've lost her."

"I haven't seen any of the Nuances this morning..." Ken replied absently as he twisted a paperclip around in the lock.

Aya was paying a bit more attention. "What do you mean, you lost her? She can't even walk!"

"You haven't seen the Nuances? Any of them?" Yohji bit his nails compulsively.

"No. You don't think something happened to them, do you?" The group looked at one another.

"What if the fangirls..."

"What if Schwartz..."

"Oh, for goodness sakes, Aya, will you stop with the Schwartz thing already? Now is not the time for you to be coming up with conspiracies..."

"This wouldn't be the first time something like this has happened. I'm trying to help."

"Maybe we should look for them before getting all worked up." Ken turned back tothebathroom door. "HEY! OMI! HAVE YOU SEEN ANY OF THE NUANCES LATELY?"

"Age of Aquarius...Aquarius!" Sang 'Omi' obliviously.

"Leave him. He'd freak if he found out they'd been kidnaped. You know him."

The search party set off, and, after a full thirty seconds of rigorous exploration, discovered Amaya, Bono, Cyrano, and Rainbow in the kitchen, partaking of the mint chocolate chip ice cream.

"Good morning! Sleep all right?" Asked Cyrano pleasantly before the entire group found themselves caught in a group death-squeeze of relief. This is when Omi showed up.

"Any minute now, I'm going to wake up, and this whole scene will be a very twisted nightmare." He assured himself as the group hug broke up and inched away from each other.

"This is not what it looks like!" Amaya promised.

"It isn't?" Bono and Cyrano cried disappointedly.

"What does it look like?" Rainbow the Naive asked blankly.

"No, it isn't!" Amaya snapped at Bono and Cyrano before turning to Yohji. "You should stop smoking, because your breath stinks."

"Whatever, as long as you and Michiko are safe."

"Where is Michiko?" Ken suddenly noticed the missing person, and he, Yohji, and Aya started for the door in a mild hysteria.

"Did I miss something?" Omi asked as they bolted past him.

"She's taking a shower. She should be out in a few minutes." Rainbow's information stopped the fearful guys dead in their tracks.

"Rainbow, do you know where she is?"

"She's taking a shower. And I'm sure she would not appreciate you three bursting in on her." Rainbow repeated.

"Seriously, though, where is she?"

"She told you, she is in the shower." Cyrano tapped her foot on the ground impatiently.

"Listen, she could be in danger, so if any of you have any idea where she is, you need to tell us."

"She is taking a shower. S. H. O. W. E. R." Bono spelled it out for them.

"Ha ha. Very funny. Now, tell us where she is."

"Tell you where who is?" Michiko, wearing a tank-top and her hair in a towel, entered the room.

"Told you she was taking a shower!" Bragged Rainbow, making the V-is-for-Victory sign.

"Well, you should have mentioned she can walk." Aya pointed out.

"You know, 'she' is a bit tired of being referred to as though she isn't standing right here." remarked Michiko.

"Good morning, Michiko. I'm glad to see you're feeling better."

"Why, thank you, Omi. It's nice to know somebody noticed."

Rainbow, watching the group, knew that somebody else had noticed too. "There's no need to look so glum, Yohji. She's still going to cling to you like a leech."

"Rainbow, I'm shocked by your low opinion of my character!" Michiko gasped melodramatically as she attached herself to Yohji. "At least say I cling like an extra arm or something. 'Leech' is a bit negative."

"Michiko, what's this on your shoulder?" For the first time in the entire 46 pages of this story (Really. Count 'em), Yohji had noticed that Michiko has a fairly large scar, starting near her neck and running half way down her upper arm, that looks like it was made by claws.

"It's a scar." she answered evasively, not realizing that nothing draws attention to a scar like an evasive answer. Within moments, Aya, Ken, Omi, and Yohji had surrounded her and were staring intently at her arm.

"That looks really painful. Did it bleed a lot?"

Omi poked her shoulder a few times. "Oh, does it hurt when I do this?"

"How did you get it? Did you get attacked by a wolf?"

"I got it from Amaya. It's no big deal."

"_Amaya_ did that? How?" Weiss turned as a group towards the scrawny little teenager, who would not have objected to dying on the spot.

"It was an accident!" She wailed as she hid her face in her arms.

"An accident? To get her at that angle you would have to be trying." Ken (who should know his claw wounds) yanked Michiko's hand off of her shoulder to examine it more closely.

Omi was still staring at Amaya with his mouth open, sputtering a little. "But... Amaya?... How... What... Why... Amaya... has claws?"

"Only when she's evil. I know it was an accident. It doesn't matter. And could you guys back off?" Michiko tried to escape from the spectators, but they had stopped listening after the first sentence.

"What do you mean, 'only when she's evil'?"

"I don't know! Sometimes she's Amaya, and sometimes she's not."

"And it's not like Michiko is perfectly innocent! She tried to kill me. Look at the mark she left!" Amaya pulled down the collar of her shirt, revealing a rather nasty looking gash on her back. "She hit me with a cross. And it hurt, too!"

"A cross? Like, this cross?" Yohji pulled a huge metal cross on a chain out of his pocket and was immediately attacked by Michiko.

"GIVE IT BACK! MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!" Bling Bling cross of DOOM soon found itself back in the hands of its overjoyed owner, who tossed it around a few times to make sure she could still knock somebody out with reasonable accuracy after her illness.

"Wait, you use that thing as a weapon?"Aya asked incredulously. "Why do you need a weapon?"

"Because we live in dangerous times. That's why."

"And I still don't know why you and Amaya attacked each other." Omi added.

"It was an accident!" Amaya burst into tears.

"It's very simple. I was supposed to kill Amaya, but we became friends, so I didn't. Amaya was going to kill Bono's little brother, but I got in her way and stopped her. Understand now?"

"No, I don't. Why was she trying to kill the Bono's brother? Who wanted you to kill her? Why did they want her dead in the first place?"

"I don't know! I was just trying to... I don't know! I can't remember." Michiko followed Amaya's example and burst into tears.

"You guys picked a touchy subject for them. We don't even talk about it." Cyrano, who had been waving frantically in the background the whole time, trying to end the conversation, explained.

"Is there a park or something nearby where they could sit around and be angsty? That usually cheers them up." Rainbow suggested. She's use to caring for her angst-stricken friends.

"And I imagine you all want to get some fresh air. There's a playground a few blocks away. I bet you could slip by the fangirls if you left right when the shop opens..." Replied Ken thoughtfully.

This plan was approved by committee and put into action, and all of the Nuances soon found themselves at a playground, which, in true anime fashion, was deserted, even though it was a nice day with sun and chirping birds and all that jazz. Amaya went off on her own towards some swings to muse to herself, Michiko found a tether ball and vented her emotions on it by beating it to pulp, Rainbow had brought some paper and climbed to the top of the slide and preceded to draw, and Bono and Cyrano played two-square, because they didn't feel particularly angst-ridden. (Remember two-square from elementary school? I loved that game. If you don't know what it is, then I'm sorry.)

"I feel like a five year old." Bono confessed as he hit the ball to his friend. "But it's a good feeling."

"Hey, youth is fleeting, but immaturity can last a lifetime." The ball bounced back to Bono's square alongside some homespun wisdom from Cyrano.

"Cyrano, your nose is bleeding. Pretty badly, too."

"Hello? Aya?" Cyrano called out, but nobody answered. "Hmm. That's odd."

"Do you want me to run back and get some of those nose bleed pills?" Bono tossed the ball towards the girl and started to leave.

"Yeah. Get some whipped cream while you're at it!" She called after his back. "Sure is quiet around here. Wonder what happened to all the chirpy birds?" She said to herself.

Meanwhile, back at the swings, Amaya was still in depressed mode. She swung around listlessly and wondered about the mystery of the scars she only half remembered getting and receiving. How could Michiko do that to her? How could she do that to Michiko? Those claw marks didn't look human. A vague feeling of anger and shame clung to the incident, but other than that, Amaya recalled nothing. _Who, or what, am I?_ She asked herself over and over again, not noticing the ominous figure with a deadly looking syringe creeping up behind her. Fortunately, the ominous figure was to intent on creeping to notice the figure standing behind him until it knocked him out with a metal cross.

Amaya turned around quickly when she heard the "OOF!" followed by a thud, and found Michiko standing over a body, waving her Bling Bling cross of DOOM.

"Are you ok? Did he hurt you?" She asked, dropping the deadly jewelry piece in her rush to hug her severely-shaken buddy.

"I'm fine... But what just happened? Who is that guy?"

"I have no idea who he is. I was punching the tether ball, and I suddenly realized what anime we're in. I don't remember all the details, but I did remember that anybody Omi likes has a ten percent chance of living through the night, so I came here to check on you. Right on time, I may add."

"You remembered? Where are we? What's it called?"

"You're going to kick yourself when I tell you."

"Tell me! Please?"

"It was so obvious, it made me giggle."

"What's it called? What's it called?"

"Weiss Kreuz."

"That's it?"

"Yep."

"I feel like an idiot. That is so freaking obvious!"

"Isn't it?"

"Wait, you watch Weiss? I thought I was the only one."

"Yeah. It came out when I was fifteen. I watched it religiously. I'm a fangirl, what can I say?"

Unbeknownst to our heroines, while they talked, Michiko's Bling Bling cross was raising itself off the ground and levitating above Amaya's head, until it dropped on her, knocking her out with a thwacking noise.

"Sweet cheese! Amaya!" Michiko dropped down next to her friend, which was the cue for the guy she thought she had rendered unconscious to stick the tranquillizer shot in her side, putting her to sleep. No-longer-unconscious guy pulled himself to his feet with help from the swing set as a teenage boy with twigs in his hair stepped out of some nearby foliage.

"Are you ok? That cross looks like it hurt." The boy said to his poofy haired companion. (A/N: God, I love Schuldich's hair! It is second only to Manx's in haircuts I would not get even if it was a demand made by someone who kidnaped my family. Wait, you did realize this was Schuldich, right? Maybe I should put a few more context clues in there before posting. Nah.)

"It did. But that's ok. I've had worst." His comrade reassured him. A voice echoed over the playground from the direction of the slide. "You go see what they want. I'll watch these two." As soon as the boy was out of ear range, however, he turned to Michiko's motionless form and kicked her in the ribs a few times, muttering obscenities under his breath.

In a different section of the playground, a comatose Cyrano was having her hands and legs tied up.

"Y'know, Nagi, Chloroform is your friend." Remarked her assailant to the boy from the swing set, who had stopped at the foot of the slide. "And you might want to move."

"Why? OOF!" Failure to listen to warnings may result in being hit by Rainbow's lifeless body as she shoots down the slide.

"That's why. Come on, we need to get them in the car."

"Can we stop for Starbucks?" called a high-pitched voice from the top of the slide.

"We stopped for Starbucks on the way here!"

"Yeah, but that was a whole hour ago!"

"Just help me get the bodies in the car."

That's all for now. Wow. That's really short... the shortest chapter yet. Aren't you proud of me?

Is there a way to edit a story without re-uploading a document? I messed up a few details that I want to change, but I'm to lazy to actually do it.


	6. How To Kidnap a Nuance in 10 Easy Steps

**What Happens in Weiss stays in Weiss. Part 5-ish**

Please keep in mind Michiko is writing, and, being narcissistic, wants to take over.

I wrote two versions of this chapter. The omitted one will be coming as an extra scene in the last chapter. Be sure to check it out after the show.

The Last A/N: I have decided that, since only my friends are reading this, I will stop explaining inside jokes. If you are not a friend, and you are reading this, one review and I will resume my footnotes. Until I hear from you, I will assume that this story is posted solely for my friends' enjoyment. Thank you.

Bono was taking his sweet time finding the nose bleed pills for Cyrano. He was strolling happily down the street, enjoying the nice day. He figured, on the off chance that Aya was hiding in the playground, he would have brought some No Bleads® with him. That's just responsibility.

But, when Bono did finally get to the Flower Shop of the name no one remembers, he was surprised to find Aya, standing around as though he had been there the whole time.

"How did you get back here so fast? Is there a short cut I don't know about?"

"What are you talking about? Have I been somewhere?" Aya was puzzled, but not menacing. He was learning to accept that it is possible that Europeans with dark hair may occasionally require optical assistance in the form of glasses. Funny how life works, huh?

"Cyrano's nose was bleeding, so we thought you were nearby..." Bono, although apprehensive, was still hoping this was a complicated practical joke.

"Not I. I've been here the whole time." Aya raised his voice a bit so Yohji could hear. "Because I am reliable, and I don't shirk on the job."

"Aya, If I had a dollar for every time you didn't show up to work, I could afford my own island!"

Bono gave up and decided to check his email, live journal, and other internet related accounts, froze the computer, turned it off and ran out towards the playground before Omi could discover the crime.

The playground, however was empty of all angst ridden fangirls. Bono quickly searched the premises, but found only the drawing of a suicidal girl Rainbow had been working on. It was drenched with what smelled suspiciously like chloroform. Bono also found Michiko's Bling Bling Cross of DOOM lying in some blood soaked mulch near the swings. Something was wrong.

Rainbow was feeling not so goodly. She could hear fuzzy voices talking in the background, and her eyes weren't willing to function yet. There was something round and hairy on her left shoulder. Like a head.

"If...you...ever...want...to...see... I can't find any more vowels in this stupid magazine."

"Brad, why are you writing a cut-and-paste ransom note in the first place? We're just going to call them up."

"Anyone can make a phone call. Cut-and-Paste is an _art_."

Rainbow felt someone kick her as gently as one can be kicked and still call it a kick, which is to say, fairly hard.

"Shouldn't they be awake yet? It's been, like, ten hours."

"It's only been 45 minutes."

"That's still way too long. We only drugged them."

Rainbow closed her eyes tighter. She was too intelligent to turn fully into Super Smart Rainbow of DOOM, but she could still ask her clever other self for advice.

"_Hmm. This is a pickle, Rainbow."_ Super Smart Rainbow of DOOM puzzled over the situation. "_Have you ever had someone try to read your thoughts?" _

"_Yeah. A few times. But I knew how to stop them."_

"_Do you remember how?"_

"_No."_

"_Do you know the Pokemon theme song? It goes _**CENSORED FOR YOUR PROTECTION**_"_ Rainbow cringed as the incredibly obnoxious music echoed though her brain.

"_Thanks a bundle, Super Dumb. Now I'm going to be singing that to myself all day!_" She thought sarcastically.

"_You sassy little witch! See if I ever help you again!_" And with that, the highly offended Super Smart Rainbow left the premises. The Nuances were on their own.

Rainbow was contemplating the Pokemon song, which of course drowns out all other thoughts, when the head resting on her shoulder apparently woke up.

"Where am I? Who are you people? How much did I drink last night?" Cyrano's voice sounded bewildered. Rainbow groaned inwardly as she decided she was going to have to open her eyes. She raised her eyelids about 1/1,000,000 of an inch, then closed them tightly. The light burns.

"My head hurts." Amaya's voice came from Rainbow's right. By the sound of it, she was still feeling dejected.

"My ribs are really sore." _And that would be Michiko. I should open my eyes._ Rainbow thought.

"Well, you shouldn't have struggled so much." A peevish voice Rainbow didn't recognize snapped.

"I didn't struggle! I was just there. Idiots. My grandmother can kidnap better than you." Amaya muttered to herself.

Ok, Rainbow really had to open her eyes now. And, with much will power, she did, blinking rapidly as she adjusted to the light. She was sitting against a wall, between Cyrano and Amaya, with her hands tied behind her back and her feet bound together. They were in a brightly lit room with white walls and a white card table opposite the tied Nuances. There were four guys standing near this table, one with dark hair and glasses was busy cutting up a copy of Cosmopolitan and pasting letters onto a sheet of paper; two, the teenager and the one sporting poofy red hair and a slightly bloody bandage on his head, were tinkering with a cell phone and some electronic apparatus, and a white-haired one with an eye patch was tapping his foot impatiently on the floor.

"Look, they're all up. Can I go now? I want to get a double espresso Grande Frappucino."

"Farferello, we need to talk about your Starbucks addiction." Brad looked up from the cut and paste.(A/N: Folks, you know it's Schwartz, I know it's Schwartz, therefore I will be referring to them by name. Who cares if the Nuances don't know?)

"IT'S NOT AN ADDICTION!"

"Let me guess. You can quit anytime you want."

"Yes, for your information, I can. I just choose not too."

Amaya leaned towards Michiko. "Great. Dysfunctional villains. This could get interesting."

"Do they look familiar to you?" Michiko asked nervously. She wasn't used to deja vu.

"Well, you did use to watch the show, so I would hope they look familiar." This was the end of the conversation, however, as the bad guys, mostly Brad, had stopped discussing Farferello's coffee habit and had turned back to the Nuances.

"All right. Routine question time. What are your names?"

"I give up. What are your names?" Rainbow asked with a perfectly straight face.

"Grr. Fine, what do you call yourselves?"

Rainbow smiled sweetly. "We call ourselves abducted, but you could call us captured if you really want to."

"I give up. Schul?" Poofy-hair turned to Rainbow and stared at her for a few seconds before jumping back violently and shuddering. Rainbow forced her unconcerned smile to stay in place.

"What's wrong?"

"She's singing the...the...the Pokemon song!" The entire room cringed with this shocking report of mental torture, which succeeded in alerting Amaya to the significance of the original question.

"What do you mean, you don't know our names? You kidnaped us and you don't even know our names? Why are we even here?"

"We know you're friends with Weiss. So we decided to use you as bait so we can get them. It's a pretty basic plot, but a good one, nonetheless."

"I can't believe this is happening to me! HEY! THOSE ARE MY THOUGHTS YOU'RE TRYING TO STEAL! MY SECRET MY SECRET!" Amaya screamed, trying to cover her head with her tied hands.

"Amaya! Hit Me Baby One More Time!" Rainbow threw up a barrier of psychological protection around her friend in the form of one of the most annoying pop songs ever, but accidentally mixed it with some information.

"Amaya, right? You're an angsty little monkey, aren't you? Are you going to tell me your friends' names?"

A large spark of electricity from the machine Nagi was still playing around with interrupted Schul. "Guys, I got the speaker phone working! We going to call up and ask for the ransom or what?"

Using this diversion, Michiko turned at an awkward angle to talk to Amaya "Are you still feeling depressed?"

"Yes. Omi's going to come to get us, and then he'll get killed, and then they'll probably kill us too, so we'll all die, and it will be my fault. And we'll never get back home, so our friends back there will never know what happened to us, and they'll be all worried. I can't stand it!"

"Cheer up! We've lived through worse, and we'll make it through this too. Everything is going to be all right. Girls, we need to be in top MST mode if we want to thwart these guys." The pep talk didn't work, as evidenced by the tears running down Amaya's cheek. Rainbow turned to her as well.

"Hey, Amaya. I wish you were my real father!" This had the desired effect and Amaya started to giggle helplessly. However, it was also anti-productive, because it caused Michiko to lapse into depressed mode and stare off into space as though trying to remember something. Fortuantely, this didn't last long.

Schul, sensing that the others were not paying attention, had taken the opportunity to kick the captive in the ribs again. His head was still smarting from the Attack of the Bling. "OOF! Hey, that hurt! Brad! The guy with the big orange hair kicked me! Make him stop!"

"How did you know my name?"

"A little bird told me." Kick "OOF. Will you stop that?"

Schul glanced at Brad. "I could find out how she knows your name, if you want."

"Fine, but I have Sk8er Boi stuck in my head right now, so it's your funeral." Michiko warned while the sound of a phone being dialed echoed from the speaker phone apparatus.

"Don't, it's not worth it. Hey, bring one of them up here to answer the phone." Michiko found herself being dragged painfully towards the card table.

"Hey, watch the shoulder! I just got it stitched up from the last time! And don't you point that gun at me!" Farferello fired this gun at the wall. "Ok, fine, point that gun at me, but don't destroy that beautiful dry wall."

"Ok, they're going to answer the phone, and you're going to tell them that we've kidnaped you and that they had better come get you, yadda yadda. And if you don't, I'll blow your head to tiny little pieces. And don't you dare warn them this is a trap. And hurry up, too, 'cause if I don't get some caffeine in my system soon, it's the end of the world."

Bono had sprinted back as fast as he could with the news that the female Nuances where missing, so Weiss happened to be sitting around speculating when the phone rang. Aya answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Aya! This is Michiko."

Somebody, possibly a man, muttered _"_Michiko?"in the background.

"Hi." Aya covered the mouthpiece with his hand to address the worried friends in the room. "It's Michiko. She sounds ok." Aya turned back to the phone. "Where did you go? Are the others with you? Who's that in the background?"

"Yeah, we're all here. These guys invited us down to Barbados for the weekend, and we thought you might want to come."

"What? Barbados?"

"Just kidding. But, seriously, we've been abducted by these guys. Could you put me on speaker phone?" Aya pressed the little button, and the Nuances' voices sounded in the room.

"Thanks. Hi everybody!" Rainbow called out.

"Hey. Michiko, what happen to you guys?" Yohji interrupted.

"We're having a little orgy. Don't come!" Michiko coughed nervously as the gun moved closer to her face. "I mean, come on down."

Ken ignored Michiko's odd behavior. "Hi, Rainbow. Where are you?"

"We're not allowed to tell you. Plus we don't know."

"Oh, and the guys who kidnaped us want me to tell you that Shorts sends their regards." Amaya conveyed the should-be-sinister message in a less than ominous tone.

"Not Shorts! Schwartz!" Some one exclaimed from the Nuance's phone.

Omi's eyes were getting very big. "Kidnaped? Are you ok? Don't worry! We'll save you! We won't abandon you! I promise."

"I take it this means you were definitely not dating Crawford?" Yohji carried on his conversation with Michiko oblivious to the teenager flopping on the floor like a fish.

"I'm dating someone?" asked a confused voice in the background.

Although Yohji couldn't tell, Michiko had turned crimson. "Nah. I just said that. Didn't mean for it to get so out of hand. But still, the look on Aya's face was priceless."

"Omi? Don't worry! We're fine. This kind of thing happens to us all the time. So don't have a heart attack, ok? Just stay at home, don't do anything rash. This does not bother us!" Amaya tried to sooth her friend, but, of course, this wasn't what Schwartz had in mind, and she soon found herself being thrown against the wall. "OOF! Ow."

"AMAYA! Are you ok? Did they hurt you? If they did, I'll kill them, I swear!" Omi freaked.

"She's fine, Omi. Tell him you're fine, Amaya." Rainbow remarked.

A faint groan made it to the telephone. "I...hurt."

"See, she's fine."

"Rainbow? Is Cyrano ok? We haven't heard from her..."

"Yeah, she's ok. She's just out of it."

Bono nodded sagely. "Is there an ace around?"

"Yeah. Her nose is bleeding, but not so badly."

Ken turned to Bono. "What's an ace?"

"A. C. E. boy. Angsty Cute Evil boy. Cyrano's personal favorite type of bishouen. Any amongst the Schwartz?"

"Not that I can think of..."

"Unless he means Nagi." Yohji had been listening in.

"The one who's always wearing his pajamas? Yeah, that could be..."

"It's a suit!" Screamed the telephone.

"Just keep telling yourself that, kid." Aya called towards the receiver.

"Whatever it is, at least it doesn't clash hideously with my hair, unlike that sweater _you're_ always wearing."

"You have something to say about my sweater? Come on, say it! I dare you!"

Amaya was on the floor several feet away from the telephone. "Rainbow...tell them...come and bring some...black lilies." She gasped out, having remembered a summer class she had taken about flowers or code words or something related.

Rainbow turned back towards the phone. "Omi, Amaya says that OOF!" Rainbow found herself on the floor near Amaya. Farferello was glaring at them.

"You would think that everybody would naturally assume we knew something about code words, given how much spy work we do."

"Eh. It was worth a shot."

Unfortunately for Michiko, still-furious-about-the-bling Schul had taken over the position of threatening her, forcing her to jump around the table, shouting at the telephone and avoiding any direct contact with her guard. Given her ankles were still kinda tied up, this was quiet a feat. (Puns are your friends.)

"Um, I think I'm going to have to go soon. Listen, could you pick us up? Ow ow! And don't forget to return that MST with the cheating short on it. You know, with the student councilor. 'You've made yourself some powerful enemies, son.' _Will you stop kicking me? Hey, get away from me! What do you think you're doing? _Yohji, I need to go! Byeloveyou!"

"Ok! Try not to kill all of them before we get there. I would like a shot at which ever one keeps tormenting you."

Omi snapped back to reality. "Is Amaya ok? You won't let them hurt her, will you?"

"Ok, they're coming. Can I get some coffee now? There's a Starbucks right next door, it wouldn't take me long!" The phone responded

"Make sure Cyrano doesn't bleed to death! I'll bring some of those No Bleads®!" Bono cut in.

"Is Rainbow still there? Tell her Goodbye. I'll see you soon, k?" Ken called out.

"Schwartz, if you're listening..."

"Well, duh, Aya. We're listening. We've been in the room the whole time. And you're about to make a dramatic speech. Please, do us all a favor and save your breath." Brad hung up before Aya could begin.

"Hey! Don't talk to him like that!" Rainbow nudged Cyrano. "You going to take that from him, or are you going to stand up for Aya?"

"Who's Aya?" Cyrano asked absently before slipping back into her fangirl fantasy land.

"Grr. Well, she may not care, but I do! Aya's my home skillet, and he's ten times the dramatic speech maker you'll ever be, so shove it!" Rainbow protested.

"You're not exactly in a position to be protesting unfair treatment of Aya, Rainbow. It is Rainbow, right? And Amaya, and Michiko, so that makes the one with the nosebleed Cyrano?" Brad observed very astutely.

"How did you ever guess?" Amaya rolled her eyes impatiently. She was feeling cranky. All that angst made her hungry. "I take it you aren't going to be feeding us? I'm hungry."

"We can't, we ran out of... Son of a Motherless Goat! We forgot to ask for the ransom." Nagi rarely swears. But he has some creative alternatives, which I feel are better anyway.

"Ha ha! We made you screw up! We made you screw up!" Michiko chanted as she hobbled back to the other Nuances. Soon they were all singing along merrily while Nagi tried to turn the cell phone on, much to the annoyance of Schuldich.

"Look, you're kidnaped, could you act scared?"

"Hey, shut up! I'm on the phone!"

"You've reached --- ----. We're busy trying to organize a rescue mission, but if you leave your name and number after the tone, we'll get back to you as soon as we can."

"Hello. This is just Nagi. We forgot to mention to bring $10,863 and 76 cents with you. And you had better come up with the money, on account of we don't want to hack nobody's limbs off. Sorry for bothering you. Bye."

"On account of we don't want to hack off nobody's limbs, not hack nobody's limbs off." Michiko corrected. "You can't end a sentence with a preposition."

"Michiko, now is probably not the time to be lecturing proper grammar." Amaya hissed at her teacher.

"Shush. I'm trying to help the kid out. Nothing gets laughed at more than a grammatically incorrect threat. Or, even better, you could say 'on account of we don't want to hack off nobody's limbs with a chainsaw.'"

_(This is were the extra scene will start once posted.)_

"Yeah, Nagi. It isn't like you to make such a critical error. A mistake like that could bring the entire plan crashing down." Schuldich joked. Anybody but Michiko could have said that, and he wouldn't have said a word, and she knew it. But, hey, what can you do? "Why aren't you being as grammatically accurate as you so often are? Feeling distracted?"

"Sorry, what did you say?"

Now he was glancing at Cyrano pointedly. "Hmm. What could be causing this sudden lapse in attention? A girl, maybe?"

"Yeah, whatever." Nagi fiddled with the cell phone some more.

"Ha. That means it's true. Nagi has a girlfriend. Nagi has a girlfriend!" About .0001 second passed before Farf joined in.

"You two are just jealous because you've never had a fangirl in your sorry lives."

The chanters continued, undaunted by the teenager's accusation. "Nagi has a girlfriend. Nagi has a girlfriend. Nagi has a girlfriend!"

"Come on, guys, stop it."

"Nagi has a girlfriend. Nagi has a girlfriend!"

"Brad! Make them stop picking on me!"

Brad, apparently suffering from a serious headache, had removed his glasses so he could massage the bridge of his nose. "Will you all just shut up?"

Schul and Farferello made the same mistake Bono and Rainbow had made in the first chapter, namely, they didn't hear the malice in their friend's voice. "Nagi has a girlfriend, Nagi has a OOF!" In a beautifully choreographed way, both Brad and Nagi kicked one of their fellows in the stomach at exactly the same time.

"I ASKED YOU TO SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE!" Dead silence. "There. That's better. I'm going to go get some water. Do any of you want any?"

"I would, please." Cyrano had actually been paying attention, sort of.

"Some water would be lovely." Michiko kept the sarcasm in her voice to the absolute minimum, partly because she was thirsty, and partly because, for some unknown reason, Brad rubbing his nose had sent her off into depressive land._ I know someone who does that..._

"Oh, could I have some?" Amaya asked politely.

Rainbow shook her head in despair. _We can't be polite to these guys! That's the opposite of everything the Nuances stand for!_"Is it bottled water?"She inquired respectfully.

"Yes, there's a vending machine down the hall." Hmm. Maybe the starvation method did work for subduing prisoners. Brad would have to make a mental note of that when his brain didn't hurt so much.

"Sorry, I don't drink _bottled_ water." Rainbow turned up her nose disdainfully.

"If you're thirsty, you don't have much choice, do you?" Brad pondered that this wasn't really the normal attitude, either. Actually, come to think of it, not much these girls had done had tallied with the average hostage's actions...

"I'd rather be thirsty than dead. I've been afraid of bottled water since Amaya told me this creepy story about... I don't really remember what it was about. But I don't drink bottled water because of it." Rainbow explained.

Amaya started. "Oh that's right, could you cancel my order, too? I don't drink bottled water, either."

"You might as well. Torturing yourself won't prove anything."

"No, I really don't drink bottled water. Tap is fine, though."

"I've never met anyone who's afraid of bottled water."

Schul raised his hand. "Actually, Brad, I haven't drunk bottled water since that one thing, remember?"

"_What on earth is wrong with bottled water_?"

Nagi wasn't siding with Dasani on this one. "Yeah, I don't drink it either. I value my skin."

"Not you, too!"

Cyrano never understood this phobia of processed water, and she was glad to be able to talk to a sympathizer. "I don't worry about water. It's the mineral supplement stuff I stay away from."

"Oh, is that what this is about? Because they shut down a long time ago. But, fine, suit yourselves. _I'm _getting something to drink. No, Farf, you can't go get Starbucks. It's not good for you." With that, Brad stormed out of the room to better attend to his migraine and get some nice, poisonous bottled water.

"I hate it when he does that!" Growled caffeine-withdrawal Farf.

"Does what?"

"Answers questions you haven't asked yet! It drives me nuts!"

"Hey, you should try learning to drive with him." (I'm very concerned about how Nagi is going to learn to drive, and I may be writing a story about it. You never know.)

"Point taken."

Michiko, though still thoroughly distressed by the glasses, was still sentient enough to realize Schul was giving her a very odd look. Sort of a malicious smirk. He didn't look up as he interrupted his friends' bashing of the Brad.

"Brad probably won't be back for a while, right?"

"Probably not, why do you ask?" Nagi checked his watch.

"And if a few of Weiss come, the rest will too, no matter what, right?"

"Undoubtably."

"So, it probably wouldn't matter if we killed, say, one of the ladies, right? Just one of them. Nobody would even know until it was too late."

Michiko was not in the best of humors. If she had been untied, Schwartz would not have lived to see the second season. "Wait a minute. I knocked you out with a cross to prevent you from hurting my friend. You've drugged and kidnaped me and my friends, kicked me whenever you've gotten a spare chance, forced me to lure my boyfriend and company into

a deadly trap, and we aren't _even_? You have to _kill_ me to make us square? Do you have any sense of equality at all? OOF! Hey, stop kicking me! Your –!--+ head can't hurt that badly!"

"I don't need a sense of equality, I'm EVIL. I'm not _supposed_ to have a sense of equality!"

After making sure he was out of kicking-range, Nagi spoke up. "Um, maybe you should stop kicking her, though. She might get hurt..."

"Well, that's kinda the point, don't you think?"

"Yeah, but we're not supposed to damage them until Weiss shows up..."

"There are _four_ of them, Nagi! We can afford to lose one or two!"

"That's exactly the kind of attitude that got us in this mess in the first place! First you kill off one, just for kicks, then one of them gets mad, so you kill them too. Before you know it, they're all gone, and you've invoked the wrath of all of their friends, and then we've got a real problem."

"Schul, we're going to kill them eventually. Can't you wait for a little while?" Farf pointed out.

"But I want to kill her _now_!" Whined poofy hair.

Amaya rebelled."What do you mean, you're going to kill us? I refuse to be killed!"

"What did you think we were going to do to you? Let you go with a warning?"

Schul had reached a compromise. "Ok. I can wait to kill them. But only if I can torture _her_ first."

Michiko rolled her eyes. "Sassy bastard. I laugh in your face. I teach high school, you can't scare me. Do your worst."

>I consider that a challenge.>

>If you have something to say, Schul (That is your name, right?), you can share it with the rest of the class.>

>You had better pray that Yohji gets lost on the way here and refuses to stop and ask for directions, because once they get here, you are so deceased.>

>Oh, Yohji won't be coming>.

>May I ask why not?>

>You may consider yourselves pretty code-savvy, but, you just don't speak fangirlese. Now, if it's not too much of a bother, could you please leave my mind alone?>

>If it annoys you, no. Let's take a look at your childhood memories, shall we?>

>I warned you earlier. _He was boy, She was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious? He was a punk, she took ballet. What more can I say? >_

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Schul, you ok?"

"_NOT SK8TER BOI! _I'm going to be singing that for the rest of my life!"

Amaya shuddered. "Michiko! I'm appalled. Torturing him like that... you're evil."

"Hey, who's side are you on, anyway? Rainbow, Amaya's jumped the fence!"

But Rainbow had a moral code as well. "Michiko, that was pretty low. You're a terrible person." She turned to address the victimized criminal. "You can go ahead and kill her. Weiss will still show up without her, and, well, she deserves it."

Michiko banged her head against the wall. No point in even asking Cyrano, with her hatred of pop and fetish for ACEs. "Thanks, Rainbow. I really appreciate it."

But Rainbow's retaliation backfired due to Schul's unfailing ability to figure out people's deepest anxieties. "No, I've changed my mind. We're going to kill her last. She's defiantly the type who's worst fear is having to watch helplessly as her friends die."

Now it was Rainbow and Amaya's turn to bang their heads against the wall. "Doh!"

"In the meantime, though, I'm going to leave, because the longer I stay in the same room with the harpy,"

"That's Michiko to you, you lackwit!"

"...the more I feel like giving in and killing her quickly. I'll go monitor the security cameras or something." Actually, Schul was going to get an aspirin, but he would have sooner died than admitted this to Farferello.

After he had left, the other two stuck around vigilantly guarding the Nuances for about thirty or forty seconds.

"Nagi, I'm going to go get some Starbucks. You stay here."

"But, Brad said you aren't allowed to get any more coffee."

"Do you see this face? Does it look like it cares what Brad said?" No, it looked more like the face of someone who hasn't slept in days, or needed to.

"But what if Weiss shows up while you're gone?"

"That's why I'm leaving you here. Have fun."

"Come on, don't leave me here alone! I ended up guarding the last one, too. It's not fair!"

"Well, sooner or later you're going to learn Life isn't fair. So sit down and shut up."

"I'll tell!"

"No you won't."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because even if you tell, no one's going to care. Tell you what, if you're real good, I'll buy you a mocha-latte-ccino."

"I don't do coffee. It destroys lives."

"Whatever. See ya, shrimp." The door slammed in a very prison-like way.

"Don't call me shrimp!" Nagi shouted at the closed door. "Stupid coffee addicted bastard." Deciding this was a lost cause, he sighed, sat down on the table, and pulled a manga out of his pocket. The Nuances looked at one another. Fangirls communicate in two languages, one of which is verbal.

"Cyrano? Relena?"

"Yes, please!" Cyrano beamed. She had been waiting for an opprotunity to use her talents. This was her element. She relaxed and set to work on a strategy.


	7. SeizureInducing Scene Changes

What Happens In Weiss, Stays In Weiss, Chapter 6.

Written By Michiko. Inspired by Nuances of Toast.

A/N's are Back! Special Mention to Kurai, my first reviewer that I don't know personally! Many thanks to you from all the people too lazy to review.

Fangirlese is a language spoken by fangirls, it is different for every group, as it consists of inside jokes. Amaya, Cyrano, and Rainbow speak it very well, Michiko is tolerably fluent, and Bono can't speak it at all. But, he can speak German, because he's European.

Also, for those of you who read Juvenile Orion, the girl Nagi reminds Michiko of is Kouru.

Bono von Bono had some experience in rescue operations, after all, his sister, the heir to the throne of his country, had been kidnaped on several occasions by various different people, and it was usually up to the Nuances to liberate her.

However, he had never seen quite the level swiftness exhibited by Weiss. As soon as it was obvious Brad had hung up, they sprang into action before Bono was really certain what was happened.

"Okay, someone set up the caller ID in case they call back, someone find the cell phones, and remember to put them on 'vibrate' instead of 'ring' this time. Someone log onto MapQuest and see if they can find a good map. Oh, for God's sakes, someone help Omi off the floor. Should we take the van or the car?"

"Van, definitely. And I'm driving." Aya declared as he rushed out of the room, probably not to do any of the things Yohji had suggested.

Bono stared into space, deciding ultimately that these guys knew what they were doing better than he did, as evidenced by how they were all running around in such a confident way.

Ken was busy rigging the phone line, stopping only to trip over Omi on his way to get some more wires.

"OMI! Get off the floor. You're in the way."

Trying to forget his problems, Omi was curled in a fetal position, murmuring to himself. "In my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby. I lie inside myself for hours..."

Gritting his teeth, Ken pantomimed kicking his psychotic companion. "Stop being so damn angst ridden! Go look up maps or something."

"and watch my purple skies fly over me. Don't say I'm out of touch with this rampant chaos, your reality."

"Every second you don't help us is another second closer towards the Nuances' deaths. There will be plenty of time for you to forget this when lives aren't on the line."

"I'm awake, I'm awake. Should I be starting the computer?" Omi dashed to his desk. Ken watched him in case of a relapse.

"That a boy."

Suddenly, the phone rang. Yohji paused in the doorway on his quest for the cell phones. Nobody moved. This scene was hauntingly familiar to Bono. He had to say something.

"You will die in seven days." He giggled. The others turned to glare at him as Ken's voice filled the room.

"You've reached --- ----. We're busy trying to organize a rescue mission, but if you leave your name and number after the tone, we'll get back to you as soon as we can."

"Hello. This is just Nagi. We forgot to mention to bring $10,863 and 76 cents with you. And you had better come up with the money, on account of we don't want to hack nobody's limbs off. Sorry for bothering you. Bye."

Omi jumped away from his computer and ran in the direction of his room, muttering "$10863, 76 cents." over and over under his breath. Ken and Yohji ignored him.

"Ken? Did you get the call traced?"

"Uh-huh. It's my cell phone. I gave it to Rainbow, so they must have stolen it from her."

"It's just like those bastards to use up our minutes. I bet they're roaming, too."

"Hey, I applaud them for being able to get enough reception to make a call. I hate that cell phone. It only works on like, two streets."

"Yeah, we really need to change plans. I hear Cingular has a pretty good deal."

"Maybe we should get one of those family plans." Ken contemplated as Omi skidded back into the room with a piggy bank.

"I have $63 and 75 cents here, and if I cash in my college fund, I could come up with enough for..." He muttered, punching some numbers in on a calculator. "Amaya and 3/5 of one of the others, or 1/5 of each of them. That would be like, one arm... so we would have 3 arms... oh, gross."

Ken looked at his vertically-challenged friend. "Omi, what are you doing?"

"I'm figuring out how to pay the ransom. It comes out to $2,715.94 per person. And I think we all have that sitting around somewhere."

"Omi, we aren't going to pay the ransom!" Yelled Yohji as he fought the urge to smack the boy.

"YES WE ARE!"

"They don't expect us to pay it!"

"Oh yeah? Then why did they ask for it?"

"Because it's a tradition, the tradition of kidnaping your rivals' girlfriends for money, and we have so few traditions left. Even if they did want us to pay it, we're going to sneak in and rescue the Nuances to _avoid_ paying it."

"But...but..."

"Omi, close your mouth before you swallow a bug. Go figure out which darts you're taking or something. And, Yohji..." Ken did a double take when he noticed the blond was in a trance-like state, staring fixedly at a DVD on top of the TV. "Yohji?"

Yohji was mumbling to himself as though having a revelation. "The one with the Cheating Short."

"Yohji? Did you say something?"

Yohji didn't really hear Ken, he was talking more to himself. "Michiko asked me to take back the MST with the cheating short. _You know the one, with the student councillor. 'You've made yourself some powerful enemies, son.'_ That was one of the last things she said."

"I have enough on my plate dealing with Omi's problems without you being all tragic. Come on, Yohji, it's not like she died!"

"The Wild World of Batwoman is one of her all time favorites. She never would have forgotten what it was called."

Ken ripped his hair out as Yohji dazedly turned on the DVD player. "Yohji, we don't have time for you to watch one of your movies!"

"And I don't need to take it back. I own it. It's right here." He sighed, tapping the box.

"Yohji!"

"She's trying to tell us something, Ken! That's why she told me that quote! She wanted me to watch that part of that short!" Yohji fast forwarded through the opening credits, through TV's Frank's atomic hair dryer, through the Razorback invention, through young Jimmy's fall from grace, stopping almost directly at the quote Michiko had sited.

"Sorry, Jim, but I guess you know why." Said the annoying dork on the movie.

"Yohji, what does this have to do with..."

"Shut up for a second, Ken."

The narrator on the movie was being self righteous. "Yes, Jim knew why. He had been caught in a trap of his own making."

Ken grabbed the remote and shut off the TV. "See, Yohji, she was just spazing. You should know that. Look at Omi!" Indeed, Omi, who tries very hard not to spaz on a regular basis, is famous for shouting out random words when he finally does lose control.

"Or, she could mean that this is a trap set up by Schwartz and don't come..." Aya remarked from the doorway.

"Well, we're coming, trap or not, so why did she tell us?"

"Umm. Gee, do ya think its because she doesn't want us to get hurt?"

"Why the heck would she care about that?"

"You guys have such low self esteem, it's not even funny."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxscene changexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Around the time this was happening, Cyrano had decided to wake up fully and put Operation

Raelene into action. She put on her most innocent face and turned to the boy who was now completely absorbed in his manga.

"It must suck to have them push you around like that all the time."

Nagi looked up briefly. "They don't do it very often. They just have short attention spans, so when we're watching captives, I usually get stuck with them." He said tolerantly. But then he considered the matter. "Sitting on a card table. Alone. Waiting for Aya to show up and beat the crap out of me before anyone else comes. Because Brad's thirsty. And Farf needs his coffee. And Schu is bleeding. And I don't count. Because I'm underage. And short."

Cyrano shifted a bit uncomfortably. She had forgotten Aya. And she was going to do it again in a second.

"And I just know I'm going to miss my Halo game. And they're going to be like 'I'm sorry Nagi, but you shouldn't be playing so much anyway.' And I'll be like 'BLAH.'"

Feeling a little alarmed, Cyrano tried to change the subject. "You play Halo?"

"Yeah. I hope your friends show up soon, I've got to meet FreesiasOfDarkness at 4:30."

"I hope they show up soon, too. I'm starving." Amaya groaned. Try as Cyrano might to shut her friend up, it just wasn't working. "Don't you know its not polite not to feed your guests?"

To Cyrano's surprise, Nagi actually didn't kill the starved angster. "I know. But we can't afford to right now. Actually, we kidnaped you so we could get some cash."

"You can't afford to feed us? With all the Dollar Menus running around?"

"Well, you see, we work for a corporation, so we kinda have a budget, and part of that budget is for kidnaping related expenses. But we sort of spent it on..." Nagi paused, unsure if he should go into this. But he's a sucker for a captive audience. (Remember what I said about puns?)

The Nuances were enthralled by now. "Go on."

"Well, we were at the beach on vacation, and we met this guy, and we- I mean- (cough) the others were a bit tipsy, and he was all like 'I bet I can eat more crab legs than you!' And, of course, Brad is like the Crab Leg Eating King, so he wasn't going to let that go, so we all challenged him, and we had to 'reappropriate' our entire budget to pay for the stomach pumps and the food. But, in our defense, this guy was practically a pro. He was eating the shells, too. And he had this tattoo on his tongue, and I was like 'hey man, did that hurt?' and he was like 'gimmee more crab legs.' and I was like 'wow,' because it was like, his third basket. That was a great holiday, though. We were at this one place, and" An impatient cough from Michiko called Nagi back to the present. Amaya and Rainbow were looking at each other with the half-frightened, half-delighted expression that suggests a stranger has stumbled onto an inside joke.

"So, you embezzled some funds, so you have to kidnap us to afford to kidnap more people." Cyrano summed up sympathetically after glaring at Michiko warningly.

"Well, we wouldn't care, normally, but we need the money to pay for Farferello's coffee, plus things get really boring around here sometimes."

"Ah. It all makes sense now."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxscene changexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Back at Weiss Headquarters, Omi, Ken, Aya, and Yohji had been discussing the best way to deal with the alleged trap set for them. They had been arguing for quite some time, and the only thing they had decided was that they were going to have to let Manx and Persia know where they were going.

"Ok, Yohji, you call up Manx and tell her that..."

"I'm not calling her! She told me exactly what I can do the next time one of my romance interests gets in trouble, and I don't think it would help any of us were I to take her literally."

"Yohji...sometimes..." Aya shook his head.

"_What_?"

"Nothing. Omi, you know Persia's number, right?"

"We aren't on speaking terms. For a reason."

"Aya?"

"Don't look at me!"

"Well, I'm not calling them! Yohji can!"

This had been going on for a really long time, and Bono had, by dint of thinking at a reasonable pace, realized that A) Weiss had no clue what they were doing. B) Bono was perfectly capable of rescuing his crazy fangirl friends on his own. C) He knew exactly where they were and how to save them. It was time to interrupt the rescue crew.

"Hey, Aya? How tall is Brad Crawford?"

"... I'm not sure...maybe a little taller than you... yeah... like a few inches..."

Omi stuck his tongue out at his red-haired companion. "Aya, you don't know anything. He's really tall, Bono. Like, ten feet."

"Maybe to _you_, super-chibi-who's-afraid-of-Persia," Aya smirked.

"Come on Aya! I said I didn't want to talk to him, OK?" Unnoticed by the boys of Weiss, Bono slipped out of the room.

"Yeah, because you're scared!"

"I don't see you volunteering to call him!" Actually, nobody really likes talking to Persia. He's an ass. Hey, it's the truth.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxscene changexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cyrano's forces were regrouping and coming up with another plan for Operation Raelene. Apparently Nagi was not the kind of ACE who untied every hostage who gave him puppy eyes. She was calculating. Rainbow was staring at Nagi's manga with uncommon concentration. Amaya was still feeling depressed, almost in tears. Michiko, who was convinced Weiss would not be coming, decided to take a stab at their jailer. Hey, sometimes the Caring Adult act works.

"I guess you don't have many friends your own age." She ventured.

Nagi gave her a brief, angsty glance before commencing reading. "I don't want friends my age. People are jerks."

Michiko paused. That look reminded her of someone, but she couldn't think who. A girl she knew once. But she couldn't quite remember. Grr. This wasn't helping and it made her feel angsty. Maybe she should try to cheer up Amaya. Surely that would help. She turned to her quietly angsting friend.

"Amaya, don't be sad. Things are going to turn out just fine."

"But... Omi..."

"Don't worry about Omi. He'll be fine. I promise."

"But I can't help but worry. It's easy for you to say everything is going to be fine, but you can't know that!"

Listening in, Nagi couldn't help but snort a little.

"Hey! What you laughing at?" Rainbow glared, without looking up.

"Miss Solace over there. She's trying so hard to cheer up her friend, when she's the one who should be worried. The rest of your deaths will be relatively painless."

"Great. You're just a little ray of sunlight and hope, aren't you, kid?" Amaya snapped sarcastically. It was bad enough being in this position without this sassy adolescent rubbing it in.

"All I'm saying is I'm not sticking around when Schu gets ahold of your friend. She picked the wrong villain to irritate."

"Like I said, I'm not afraid in the least. I get hurt constantly around my friends." Has anyone else noticed how much Michiko gets hurt in this fic?

"Whatever. I was just warning you."_ Stupid, ordinary humans. Why do I even bother?_ Nagi thought to himself. **He** knew better than to be in earshot when Schu came back, and if he was all right, what did it matter?

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In front of a Starbucks, a dark haired boy wobbled a little on the 5 inch tall platform shoes he had 'borrowed' from Cyrano. Judging from the number of people chatting on cell phones in the area, he had come to the right place. After a brief pause, he straightened his glasses and walked into the enormous office building next door to it.

Brad was sitting against the wall opposite the water vending machine. He was fairly certain he was going crazy. Ever since they had called up Weiss, he had had a mortally painful headache, and a few minutes ago, he had envisioned himself being attacked by himself. Maybe Schu and Nagi were right, and he should go back to tap water, if the bottled stuff made him hallucinate like this.

But he should think this through. His precognition had never failed him before, there was no reason to doubt it now. So, just to be safe, he was going to stand up, and peak around the corner.

"OOF!"

Bono surveyed his handiwork. Pitiful. Back home, he could have knocked this guy out in one punch. Now he relied on Michiko's Bling Bling Cross of DOOM. Yet another thing to hate about Weiss Land.

Closer examination showed he, luckily, had gotten the guy he was looking for, the one who could, if you squinted, have been his clone... or at least his brother. Maybe Aya had exaggerated on the resemblance part, but at this point, it was all Bono had to go on. He grabbed the insensible Brad by his arms and dragged him into a nearby men's room.

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Rainbow hadn't taken her eyes off the back cover of the manga their attendant was reading. From how far away it was, she couldn't very well read the summary, but she wasn't interested in the plot. She was more enthralled with the chibi version of one of the characters on the back.

"Hey, Nagi? Who is that?"

"Who is what?"

"That boy. On the back. He looks familiar."

"Oh. Him. Ego." For some unknown reason, this sent all of the Nuances into fits of hilarity. "Have you guys read this series or something?"

Rainbow squinted, trying to see the name of the manga he was holding. "No, I don't think so. But.. Ego... its an inside joke."

"I call him that because I can never keep track of people's names in manga." Nagi turned the book over so the Nuances could see the three teenagers on the front. "I call that one Jock, that one Ego, and that one Demon."

Rainbow and Amaya gasped at this incredible impoliteness. "But his name isn't Demon, and it's very rude of you to call him that." Rainbow admonished.

"Well, he kinda is one."

Amaya's mouth dropped open. "SO? How would you like it if everybody just called you Shrimp all the time just because you're short?"

"Its not like he's going to find out and be all suicidal about it."

"Didn't mommy ever teach you its not nice to talk about people behind their back?" Rainbow looked throughly appalled at how callous this angsty child could be.

Nagi shifted a little farther away. "Are you sure you haven't read these? Are you fangirls?"

"No! Well, maybe a little. I just don't think you should be calling him Demon. It hurts." Amaya tried to find a way to explain why this was such an insult, but couldn't find the words.

The boy rolled his eyes. "I suppose you have people call you demon all the time?"

Nagi didn't realize this was the very reason she was so angsty. "Yes! I hate it. I can't help who I am." Although, at the moment, Amaya couldn't remember why she couldn't help it.

Amaya's response was so close to the manga he was reading, Nagi didn't even dignify it with a response. The actual manga was much more interesting than the cliche mood swings of the captives.

Having been sitting on the card table for so long, Nagi had decided to stand up and take a stretch, which wasn't remarkable in itself, but when the boy stood up, the manga hovered in front of his eyes. It followed him when he sat down, and started turning pages while suspended in mid air. Apparently it was a can't-put-down kind of story, because it took a while after this miracle for Nagi to notice the Nuances, especially Rainbow, were staring.

"What?"

Rainbow smiled. "I can do that."

The boy snatched the book out of the air and turned away. "It's not funny." _What do I care what they think?_ He tried vainly to convince himself. _They're going to die soon, anyway._

Rainbow tried a couple of times to untie herself mentally to prove her powers, but they weren't working. "I can! Michiko can too, but she's really not very good at it. And one person in my... my... um...grr.. whatever, I know someone who can pick up whole cars like that. I'm sort of average at it because I have such a wide range of abilities, but I think it's a fair trade. You should come to con. sometime, we have a great time."

"Con? There's a psychic convention?"

"Yeah, it's every year. I can't believe you haven't heard of it, everybody from..." Rainbow suddenly remembered they weren't in Kansas anymore. Her perky attitude deflated when she realized fully she was going to die as a hostage in another world, and no one would ever find out what had happened. She would never go to another Convention, or find out why Ego was so funny, or graduate, or wipe out the All-You-Can-Eat Buffet, or a million other things. "Oh, I guess you wouldn't have. Never mind."

Nagi turned back to his levitating book. "Whatever. I sure hope the others get back soon. You're starting to scare me."

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It turns out that the water in the building had been temporarily shut down, and Schuldich had quickly discovered that he was going to have to relent on his Tap Water Only Policy if he was going to take an aspirin, and at this point, he figured his head hurt just as much as having his skin turn to bleeding rashes. So he scrounged up a dollar and headed off towards the vending machine, praying he didn't run into Crawford or Farferello. _Just buy the damn water quickly and get out of here. That's the plan._

But the universe has a wonderful sense of humor, of course, so the machine, sensing Schu's hurry, jammed.

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Farferello was returning from the Starbucks with his overpriced coffee in hand, when he heard the sounds of a vending machine in distress. He would have investigated, but the door farther down the hall opened and emitted a tallish figure in a hauntingly familiar tan suit. Farf glanced at the man, who hadn't noticed him yet, then at the recycled paper cup he was holding in his hands, and did what any sane person would have done. He dived through a nearby door before Brad turned around.

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Schu barely managed to make the machine hand over the water when he heard footsteps in the hall. As he tried to yank his foot back out of the vending machine (long story), he considered his options. Odds are it was someone he didn't want to run into, so he rushed back to the room where the Nuances were pestering Nagi.

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_This is the ugliest color on a suit I have ever seen. The girls owe me_. Bono thought to himself as he pondered which door the fangirls where behind. This office building was too freaking big. There had to be twenty some doors in this hallway alone. And a sound was coming from one of them.

"Nobody knows/ the trouble I've seen./ Nobody knows my sorrow!" Sang the door five down on the right soulfully. Bono laughed. Leave it to the fangirls.

xxxxxxxxxxxxscene changexxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen! Nobody knows but Jesus!" The Nuances belted out, having burst into song randomly. Schu was gulping down aspirin and bottled water like there was no tomorrow.

"GAD, Shrimpy, can't you shut them up?"

"DON'T CALL ME SHRIMPY!" Screamed Nagi the Boy Wonder as Schu's hard earned water exploded...

...Right in the face of 'Brad', who had just walked into the room. "Nice." He remarked before pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiping off his face. "Real nice."

"I'm sorry, Brad. He was teasing me!"

'Brad' suddenly realized he didn't know who the heck these people were or anything about them, and the fangirls didn't know he was there. Finally, Bono's only word of fangirlese came in handy. "Tae. Tae." He said, as though clearing his throat. He watched with some amusement as the girls' eyes widened. (Translation- This may look like me, but its really my evil twin.)

"Sorry, allergies. Anyway, no teasing the kid, er..." Bono paused awkwardly, wishing he knew the name he was looking for.

"_Schu's_ been kicking me while you were gone! Could make him stop?" Michiko begged pointedly to Bono.

Bono suppressed a grateful smile. He had been afraid they wouldn't understand his garbled fangirlese. "Shoe! No killing the prisoners. I thought I told you not to..."

Nagi and Schu gaped at their leader person. "Did you just call me _Shoe_?"

Bono hesitated. "Is that not your name?"

"OOC!" Rainbow shouted, hoping she and Bono were the only fiction writers in the room. Bono could have smacked himself. He changed his facial expression immediately. (Out Of Character)

"I called you Shoe because I felt like it. Why do I need a reason?"

"Crawford? You feeling ok?"

Bono jumped a little at being addressed as Crawford. "Just chipper, thank you very much. Shoe, go and stand outside and watch for Weiss."

"Isn't that what Farf's doing?"

_Who the hell is Barf?_ Bono thought. "Change of plans. He needs help. Go to him!" There was an uncomfortable pause while Schu glared at his cohort.

"Are you thinking in German?" He asked Bono (in German, consequently.) "I didn't know you spoke German."

"What were you doing reading my mind in the first place?" Bono meant something like "Holy Shit, you can read minds?" Schu thought he meant "I thought I told you to stay away from my mind, you freak!"

"Well, you were acting weird. And what do you mean, Barf? Who's barf? Are you on a Spaceballs kick again?"

"I thought I told you go to check on Barf."

"You mean Farferello?"

"No, goddamn it, I said Barf and I meant it, Shoe!"

Since the entire conversation had switched to German, Nagi and the Nuances were making up captions for an interesting, badly dubbed soap opera. You must simply imagine watching Schu and Brad argue with a voice-over.

Cyrano was talking for Schu. "I found a blond hair on your jacket this morning. Conducting a little more 'research' with that Amou bimbo from the office?"

"And I suppose you weren't all over your old flame Kuga at that party last night?" Nagi subbed for whatever Brad/Bono said.

"I don't know how you could have known what I was doing, after all you had to drink!"

"Don't lie to me, Schu. I went through your pockets, and I don't believe I've ever seen you wearing the thong I found there, and I sure as hell never wear leopard print."

"Brad! Not in front of my children!" Cyrano timed this remark perfectly with Schu's waving at the others. What he was really saying, I don't know.

"They're my children too, Shoe!"

"What makes you so sure?"

"What did _that_ mean? Is there something you want to tell me?"

"I'm..." Cyrano and Schu paused for breath/dramatic effect. "Not sure. Nagi's either yours or Ken's or Omi's. I never decided."

At this point, Nagi was on the floor, doubled over laughing, so Rainbow had to take over for a bit. She decided to use her Trailer-Trash Talk Show voice. "Omigod, boy, I trusted you, and you just sleeping around behind mah back?"

"I was going through a phase! It's not like that anymore!" Cyrano lamented tearfully.

"You told me you luved me!"

"I do luv you, darling, I just needed mah space!"

Nagi took a few deep breaths and resumed his place. "I sacrifice the best years of mah life for you, and look what you gone and done."

"I told you I ain't like that anymore. I've changed!"

Much to the amusement of the audience, Brad/Bono just happened to turn away. "I just can't trust you now."

"And how can I trust you, Brad? You think Ken never told me about you?"

Rainbow interrupted briefly. "Wait, why are we picking on Ken?"

Cyrano slipped out of character. "Oh, sorry, Rainbow." She started over. "You think Yohji never told me about you?"

"Well, you've had your fun, why shouldn't I have mine? I feel so suffocated with you!"

"That's it, Crawford! It's over. I'm going home to mother!"

"Uh-huh. Do you mean mother, or Farferello, you hussy?" Nagi/Brad said as Schu exited the room.

Michiko put on her Jerry Springer face. "Folks, every relation has its secrets. But sometimes, you need to share before its too late. That's your final thought for the day, goodnight."

Nagi wiped a few tears from his eyes. "We really shouldn't do that. We have enough trouble with the yaoi writers as is. But that was so perfect."

"What was so perfect?" Brad/Bono asked cluelessly.

"I'm Ken and Schu's love child!" Giggled the boy who _does_ look suspiciously like Ken. Brad/Bono stared at him without comment, then decided to examine the manga Nagi had left on the card table.

"Is this any good?" He asked, picking it and examining the cover. Especially the guy Nagi christened 'Jock'.

"Oh, yeah. It's great. I'm glad you recommended it."

"I should read these. Again, I mean."

"I have one and two in my bag." The author officially decides Nagi is cool enough to have a saddle bag. "Hey, Brad, are you shrinking? You seem shorter." Even with Cyrano's shoes, Bono just didn't measure up.

"Well, I'm not. You're just getting taller, that's all."

"Am I really? YES! Finally!"

Feeling a little bad for getting Nagi's hopes up, Bono/Brad pulled a Benadril out of his pocket. "Here, shrimp, do you want some candy?"

"It's Nagi. Not Shrimp, Shorty, Chibi ,Chibi Shrimp, or Teensy. Nagi."

"I know. I was just teasing." Bono/Brad lied.

"You never tease me when the others aren't around. You really are acting different today."

"No, I'm not. Just take the candy."

The door opened as Farferello, now coffee-free, came in. "Crawford? Are you giving out candy? That's really unlike you."

"Yeah. How do we know you're the real Brad and not an imposter?" Nagi challenged, taking the candy and swallowing it anyway.

"Because I am the real Brad. How dare you question my OOF!" Bono/Brad gasped as Farf hit him upside the head with Schu's water bottle.

"The real Brad would have seen that coming."

"I did see that coming. I just chose not to do anything because I don't think you should be questioning my identity."

"Oh, yeah? Then what's the name of the guy on the cover here?" Nagi challenged, pointing to Jock. Bono/Brad thought quickly.

"Isshin Shiba." The first name that popped into his head.

"That's him, Farf." Nagi affirmed before he passed out on the floor, a result of the Benadril.

"Nagi? Hey, Shrimp, wake up!" When Nagi didn't respond, Farferello turned back to Bono/Brad. "Oh, Schu says he gets dibs on the one on the right, there." He nodded towards Michiko.

Bono/Brad stared for a second, then shook his head as though trying to get rid of a bad mental image. "I'm sorry, I had a perverted moment. You meant something different than what I thought you meant just then. Please tell me you meant something different."

"I didn't mean like that! Although I see where you got it from. She is kind of cute."

Bono's mouth dropped open. "That's my Literature teacher, you depraved psycho! She is not cute! She is not physically appealing in any way!" He screamed, punching the lech in the stomach. But of course, it didn't hurt him.

"If you're the real Crawford, I'm a leprechaun." Farferello noted sarcastically, staring at Bono's fist, which was still firmly planted on his stomach. Bono stepped back a few steps, giving his opponent room to leap towards him with a creepy, high-pitched war cry. But Bono side stepped him, and Farf ended up tumbling over the table, which collapsed on top of him, knocking him out.

"Ha. I win. Nobody suggests Michiko is attractive in front of me!" Bono laughed in triumph as he began to untie Cyrano.

Michiko rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Bono. My self esteem just spiked. No wonder I have trouble finding dates."

"Come on, Michiko! You can do better than him." Bono assured her.

"Ok, maybe you can't, but at least try!" Amaya encouraged, patting her teacher's arm. At this point, Bono was just finishing untying her. He moved on to Michiko just as Schu came back in the room.

After glancing at the drugged Nagi and Farferello's crumpled form, then at the three free Nuances, he turned to Bono/Brad. "HEY! Leave Michiko! Farf told me I would get to kill her."

"Change of plans, Shoe."

"You are such a buzz killer, Crawford. She is going to die, and I am going to be the one who decides when and how. I don't ask for much from you. I let you make decisions on your own, I never question your authority, I don't rub it in your face when you do something stupid like challenge guys you meet at bars to eating contests. All I ask is that you occasionally let me torture people into insanity. Is that too much to hope for?"

Michiko glanced at her friends, calculating based on what she remembered of her Weiss watching days. "FINE! Kill me. I dare you." She spat.

"Oh, like I needed your permission. Any last words?"

"Yes, please. Let me think of some..."

"Michiko, there's no reason for you to do this."

"Someday, you'll understand, Amaya. Rainbow, you're Tetra." Michiko nodded towards Schu. "Ganondorf and..."

Rainbow finished for her. "Link. I get it." She then turned to whisper the translation to Bono, but stopped herself, in case the telepathic was listening in. Instead, she just told him what to say.

"Ok, kill her. But try not to get so much blood on the floor this time." Bono instructed impartially. Michiko whimpered as Schu turned on her.

"I told you your death would be painful, did I OOF!" Schu went down, bonked on the noggin by a cross, an empty water bottle, and a cell phone. Michiko slid out of the way and waited while Bono untied her.

"Ok, is someone going to explain that bit of Fangirlese to me?" Asked the non-fangirl.

"She was referring to a scene in the Legend of Zelda: the Windwaker, wherein Link is cornered by Ganondorf, and Tetra sneaks up behind him and saves him." Rainbow laughed.

"I'm sorry I scared you guys like that." Michiko, now free, pulled a gun out of Schu's pocket. "I figured as long as he was busy trying to torture me, he wouldn't be shooting at you."

"Is that why you kept mouthing off? To keep him mad at you?"

"Kinda. I just like being grouchy. And he didn't hurt me too badly." The Nuances rolled their eyes at Michiko. "Oh, who am I kidding? It hurt like hell. Bastard. Take that! And that!" She growled, accenting each syllable with a kick. "That's for kidnaping my friends. And that's for not feeding us! And that is for making me angsty. And that is for trying to kill Yohji. And Aya. And Ken. And Omi. And for the inconvenience involved therein! And for having ugly hair. And for forcing Bono to wear that suit! And for..."

Bono glanced at his, ok, Brad's watch. "It's getting late. We don't really want to walk all the way back in the dark. Let's go."

"Wait!" Rainbow stooped down and rooted through Nagi's saddlebag, grabbing the mangas she found there. Then most of the group headed out the door. But where was Cyrano? Come to think of it, where was Cyrano during the whole last scene?

I'll tell you where she was. She was clinging to Nagi with a vengeance.

"Come on, Cyrano! We have to leave!"

"But I don't want to leave! He's so cute and angsty!" She murmured.

Amaya watched the girl and her pet ACE. "Actually, she is right. We can't just leave them like this. When they wake up, they're going to be pissed."

"Well, what do you propose we do with them?"

"I dunno. Kill them?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! We can't!" Cyrano shouted, almost destroying the hearing in Nagi's left ear for the rest of his life.

Michiko turned and flashed the smile of the truly sadistic. "Cyrano's right. These guys are our friends,"

"THEY ARE?" Gasped Amaya, Rainbow, and Bono.

"Hear me out. They're our friends, and they're unconscious. What would you do if your friend was unconscious and utterly dependant on you?" She winked. Cyrano's nose started to bleed heavily.

"Can we really, Michiko?"

"I think that would be best for everybody. Bono, what did you do with Brad?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxscene changexxxxxxlast one, i promisexxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next day, Schwartz woke up and found themselves tied together, sitting in a dark, rainy alley in their underwear, and, in Nagi's case, covered in whipped cream.

"They're going to pay for this." Schu vowed, trying to move his hands in a dramatic gesture.

"Dang it, 'Shoe', sit still. Farf, move your hand to the left. No, my left... grr. This is impossible. Who the heck tied these knots?" Nagi complained.

"Oh, hurry up, Houdini!" Brad snapped.

"I'm trying to go as fast as I can! I can't see what I'm doing through this whipped cream... does it help when I do this?"

"No, that makes it tighter... Didn't you ever take Boy Scouts or something? Don't you know how to untie a rope?"

"I'd like to see you try to undo a knot using only your mind while blinded by whipped cream and being heckled by ungrateful morons!"

"Whose bright idea was this kidnaping, anyway?" Farferello grumbled.


	8. And Now The End is Near

**What Happens in Weiss, Stays in Weiss.**

By Michiko. A Real Nuance.

This chapter is going to bring out my utter hatred of Persia. I really hate this guy, you have no idea. I hate him worse than any of the alleged 'Bad Guys'. _No_ exceptions. (sorry, Kurai!) I do realize that most people sympathize with/like Persia. Not me. And since I'm the one writing the story, Weiss shares my opinions. If you don't like it, go write your own Weiss story!

The last scene ended the day after the kidnaping, but the first scene of this chapter takes place while Bono is rescuing the Nuances. Confused? Don't worry, you'll catch on.

A florists van screeched to a halt in front of a "Twenty Minute Only" parking space, swerving a little as it did so, because the driver was involved in a very important confrontation. One that could determine the course of his life.

"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!" Referee Ken chanted.

"Rock crushes Scissors." Aya formed his fingers in to a gun shape and blew imaginary smoke off of them. "I win."

"Five out of seven?" Yohji implored as Omi handed him the letter they had written to Persia. "What if he's in his office or something?"

"Just slip it under his door. Don't be such a baby."

"Grr. It seems like I always lose these things." grumbled Yohji, slamming the van door behind him. As soon as he was gone, the others burst into laughter.

"Well, that's because the contest is rigged, Yohji. It seems like he would have figured that out by now. I mean, how many times have we beaten him at this game?"

"We all know Yohji's a few innuendos short of a Disney movie."

"Actually, I always thought Yohji was kind of cool, until he decoded that MST quote Michiko gave us. Then I realized, Hey, Yohji's a dork."

Omi laughed as he checked the time. "I hope it doesn't take long to rescue them. I promised IANUMFTTT that I'd meet him at 4:30."

"IANUMFTTT?" Aya blinked twice.

"My Halo buddy."

"What the heck does IANUMFTTT mean?"

"It's chat slang for I Am Not Using My Fingers To Type This."

"Nifty."

"Yup." Omi jumped as though he thought of something. "This may be off topic, but do you realize how incredibly unfair it is that Schwartz totally kicks our ass at everything?"

"How so?"

"Well, think about it. They have psychic powers that make them practically unbeatable. They don't have to report to their boss at all. They don't have moral qualms, partly because they're evil and partly because they don't kill people they know regularly. They always seem to know everything that's going on. They don't have to work undercover. I mean, who died and made them indestructible?"

"Let's face it, Persia is a lousy leader, that does have something to do with it." Aya never did understand why Persia has such a hard time communicating with his private hit-group.

"But we're the forces of GOOD! _We_ should have the sweet skills, not those Schwartz bastards."

This conversation had gotten Ken to thinking about one of the earlier encounters with Schwartz and their invincible powers of DOOM. "You have to admit, it was pretty cool when Crawford grabbed your arrow right out of the air at that casino place."

Sure, looking back on the incident, Omi could laugh, but it had been no fun at the time. "Yeah, that was awesome, but still, these guys are always heckling us, and I don't know how we're ever going to defeat them."

"Look on the bright side. It does say something for us that they haven't killed us yet. We're definitely the underdogs here." Aya was apparently trying to be comforting, although we have found no actual documented evidence of this.

"But, Aya! I don't want to be the underdog! I want to be able to predict the future and read people's minds and levitate junk and not feel pain and know what the heck is going on!" Omi screamed, pounding on the dashboard.

Ken pondered his group's disadvantages. "Well, we're all incredibly good-looking. Does that count as a psychic power?"

"Not really." sighed Aya. "When was the last time your pretty powers protected you in a fight?"

"They don't, but you do get discounts on stuff if the clerk is a girl."

"Ken! No taking advantage of your pretty powers!" Picking up on the conversation, Yohji lectured Ken as he jumped back into the car.

"Yohji, do you know that saying about the pot calling the kettle black?" Ken asked as Aya started driving them towards... where the Nuances were. Where ever that was.

"We were talking about how Schwartz gets kick ass powers, and we get diddly squat." Omi recapped for Yohji.

"We do some fairly impossible stuff. Like, smoke in the shower." Thinking about it, Yohji and his electric garrote wire (of DOOM) really come the closest to magical powers of all the Weiss.

"Yeah, but Yohji, Schuldich can, like, jump off roofs!"

"I CAN'T DO EVERYTHING SCHULDICH CAN, OK? LEAVE ME ALONE."

"Guys, we have no clue where we're going. I'm just going to park some where and we can wander around on foot, ok? Save some gas money."

"Okie Dokie! Does everyone remember their code names?" Omi asked cheerfully as Aya parked the van on the street.

"No." Ken, Aya, and Yohji responded. Omi sighed gratefully.

"Good, because I don't remember them either. Why do we even have them?"

"To humor Persia, I guess. I wanted mine to be Cheshire. Like, Alice in Wonderland." Ken reported as he dug around the seats for change for the parking meter.

"Why are we humoring Persia?" Aya asked while racking his brain for his code name. He was pretty sure it was a cat.

"Because Persia's elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor anymore, and we don't want to upset him." Yohji twirled his finger around his ear in the 'Crazy' sign.

"Does that group look familiar to you guys?" Aya asked, pointing out the window.

Five figures had emerged from a dark alley and were staring at the florist van parked in front of them. One of them had trace amounts of whipped cream and blood on her face, one was clutching a few mangas as though her life depended on them. Two, a boy in very unstable shoes and a woman with her hands wrapped around her ribs, were leaning on the fifth, who wobbled a little under the pressure.

"Heheh. That's for making me get Sk8er Boi stuck in my head. They'll never untie those knots." giggled Michiko as she tottered down the street.

"Does that van look familiar to you guys?" Cyrano asked, pointing as the doors of the vehicle opened and Weiss materialized.

"You're ALIVE!" Rainbow got over the shock of having Ken holler in her ear and was really enjoying having the air squeezed out of her, but then she remembered who was responsible for her serenity.

"It's really thanks to Bono. He rescued us." She admitted meekly, feeling a little guilty for the unhappiness she may be causing her friend. But Bono didn't care about anything but changing out of those shoes.

"It's ok, Rainbow. I have a boyfriend back home. I may not remember his name just now, but I know I love him. So don't worry. You win." Her fears allayed, Rainbow went back to savoring the moment. And it was a good moment, too.

Aya never would have admitted that he was rather fond of the Nuances, especially Cyrano. Perhaps it was because he felt a natural empathy for cool, bloodthirsty redheads like himself. Perhaps it was because the author wanted them together. Or perhaps it was simply because Cyrano was so Cyrano, what's not to be fond of? Whatever the reason, Aya found himself concerned over the amount of blood the already pale girl seemed to have lost during her ordeal.

"Cyrano, are you ok? They didn't hurt you or anything, did they?"

Cyrano wiped some of the whipped cream off her face, smiling. "No, they didn't hurt me. I just went into ACE land for a bit, and my nose started bleeding. But I'm back now."

"Angsty...Cute...Evil..." Aya muttered, trying to convince himself he was NOT jealous of Nagi. Cyrano wrapped her arms around him.

"But you're Angsty Yare Adorable." Cyrano watched him try to figure out the Acronym with an amused smile. "A... Y... A. Aya." (Very quick A/N: I was having so much trouble find a Y word for this. Yare (adj)- brisk, active, quick)

Next to her, Amaya was trying to subdue an agitated Omi.

"IthoughttheywouldkillyouIwassoworriedandYohjisaidweweren'tgoingtopaytheransom,butwewouldhaveitsokI'msogladyou'reallrightwhatwouldhavehappenedifBonohadn'tfoundyouI'mafailureatlifeIshouldhavebeentheonerescuingyouIcan'tbelievehowirresposiblewearepleaseforgiveme!"

Amaya staggered yet again as Omi collapsed on her, sobbing. Feeling self-conscious, she ruffled his hair affectionately. "You're not irresponsible, Omi. You were trying, I know." Amaya moved as though to take her hand off his head, but lingered before ruffling his hair again. And again. And again.

Omi started to get worried. "Amaya? What are you doing?"

Ruffle ruffle. "Your hair is really fun to ruffle affectionately!" Affectionate ruffle.

Omi wasn't the only one collapsing on people's shoulders. Michiko stopped fighting against her tears and began to weep on Yohji's shirt.

"Don't cry. You're safe now. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you." He reassured her, hugging her a little tighter. Hopeless romantic that she is, Michiko would have thought the whole scene was really sweet, if she had been crying because she was traumatized by her recent experience. Unfortunately, this wasn't the case.

"Pain...it...burns...ribs."

Watching his friends, Bono, now barefooted, picked up the mangas Rainbow dropped when Ken tackled her. "Yohji, you might want to let go of her before you fracture her ribs. You know, just a suggestion."

A few feet away, Cyrano was babbling about her Dir en Grey concert to Aya. "It's probably tomorrow in this universe, too. We could go. I know some of my friends wouldn't mind too horribly much if they missed it. I would think they'll accept tickets from other universes... Don't you?"

"What's the band called again?"

"Dir en Grey. They're awesome. They do J-rock."

"What on earth is J-rock?"

"Hello? Japanese rock?"

"I've never heard of it."

Cyrano gasped, causing everybody on the street to stop and look at her. "YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF J-ROCK?"

Up and down the street, people were whispering 'What's J-rock?' Cyrano looked scandalized. In a panic, she pulled a passerby who looked fairly gothic off the street.

"You! Have you ever heard of Dir en Grey?" When the man shook his head, she continued, "Moi dix Mois? Shwartstein?" The confused Goth. continued to shake his head, so Cyrano grabbed his collar in desperation and shook him. "Are you trying to tell me that J-rock doesn't exist?"

"Cyrano? Put the man down... we'll go home and look them up on the Internet, ok?" Michiko consoled apprehensively.

Amaya was the first in the van. "Yes! We can finally get something to eat!"

So everybody went back home, and Cyrano typed names into a search engine while everybody else had an emergency meeting of the Nuances of Toast, with special guest speakers from Weiss. The meeting had been called by Bono.

Sitting at the head of the assembled group, Bono waved the mangas aloft. "I have reason to suspect that this is the series we're from. So there are only two questions. How do we use them to get back, and how fast can you guys be packed?"

Quite suddenly, Ken noticed that the girl he was sitting next to had a pocket protector and glasses. Rainbow had patched up her quarrel with her smarter side and become Super Smart Rainbow of DOOM.

"Well, Bono, the safest way to get back would be to drive out to where we wreaked the car, and read a little of the book and try to remember. As soon as we do, we'll go back to our universe."

"What kind of stuff are we trying to remember?" Bono asked eagerly.

"How the Hell should I know? I've never done this before." Super Smart snapped.

"Well, in that case, we'll just give it a try. Now, Nuances, let's get packed. With a little luck, we can be safe at home by midnight." Smiled the boy, standing up.

"WHAT? Bono, we're not leaving tonight! Rainbow said we had a month before our vacation was up." Amaya protested, no longer angsty. The meal and no longer being tied up really helped her mood, and now she was back to normal. Beside her, Omi was nodding enthusiastically.

"Yeah. You can stay with us as long as you want! Please?"

Bono frowned impatiently at the puppy eyes the others at the meeting were flashing at him. He was about to say something incredibly philosophical, I'm sure, but a blood curdling scream from the computer stopped him.

"NO ITEMS FOUND! NOT ONE SITE, FOR A SINGLE J-ROCK BAND!" Cyrano wailed, bursting into tears. "It doesn't exist. I can't believe it!" Suddenly, though, she stood up and headed for the door. "Come on, Toastlings. We're going. I refuse to stay in a universe without J-rock."

Bono sighed with relief. Between Aya and Nagi, he wasn't sure how he could force his red-haired friend out of Weiss. The others, however, were still putting up a fight.

The Out of Character Fairy, unseen by all, snuck up behind Aya and sprinkled him with OOC dust. "Please, don't leave, Cyrano. Stay. Just for a month."

"Cyrano, please, can we stay? Just for a month?" Michiko echoed.

"By then the concert will be over! Get your stuff. We are going!" she stomped, ignoring the plaster that shook itself free from the ceiling and settled on her shoulder. Rainbow raised her hand, trying to get attention without interrupting.

"I shan't go!" Amaya declared loudly. Everybody else was screaming and talking at once, but her voice was the clearest.

"Yes, you shall!"

"I vote that Amaya just stay here. The others can leave. Or whatever." Omi suggested, trying to sound like he was joking.

"No, the Nuances of Toast are a team. Inseparable." Bono sighed. Much as he wanted to get home, he knew that he could never break up the group.

Michiko had noticed Rainbow waving her hand around frantically. "Rainbow wants to say something..." she trailed off timidly.

"And another thing, Bono. Why is it so important that you guys leave?" Yohji screamed over the general babble.

"Because we don't belong in your _screwed up_ universe!"

"HEY! RAINBOW HAS SOMETHING TO SAY, OK?" The whole room went quiet as Ken screamed. "Go ahead, Rainbow."

Rainbow blushed. "I just... I didn't mean to interrupt..."

"No, we're listening."

"Well, according to my calculations, we can stay about ten days and get back in time to see Cyrano's concert. So, um, we could do that. If you want. It's not a very good idea..." Rainbow whispered, almost dying of fright when Bono picked her up by the shirt collar and started shaking her appreciatively.

"Rainbow, what are you talking about? That's a great idea!"

So, ten days later, the assorted group found themselves standing at the site of the burned out wreckage that had been Michiko's rental car. Bono was once again reunited with Bev, whom they had forgotten at the site after her single cameo-style line.

Bono was the first to break away from the assembly. He stood in front of the car alone, holding Nagi's book.

Rainbow gave Ken one last goodbye hug. "Goodbye, Ken. It was really great meeting you and all. You're a great guy. And I had a really good time."

"I had a good time too. You're a sweet girl, and I'm going to miss you. Bye, Rainbow."

Rainbow broke off from the group and went to stand by Bono, who leaned over and whispered to her, "God, he does look good, doesn't he?" Rainbow nodded. "Don't feel too bad. I leafed through these a few times, and I would say we both have a better chance of getting laid at home. The others, maybe not so much, but we do."

Cyrano was saying goodbye to Aya. "Aya, I like you a lot. But... some things are more important than love. Loud music is one of them."

"It's ok. I understand. Goodbye, Cyrano. Have fun at your concert."

"Oh, I will, believe me. Goodbye, Aya." Cyrano, too, left the ever-shrinking company to stand with Bono and Rainbow. The three stood there, waiting for their other two friends to say goodbye. But Amaya and Michiko didn't move.

Michiko glanced at Yohji. "Guys, I think I might stay here..."

"Michiko! You can't!"

"But... it's different for you guys. My life sucks in my own universe, I know that much."

"But, what about your cat?"

"You can have her. If my cat is the only thing keeping me going, you know my life must be pretty pathetic. And I don't know anyone who watches MST there..."

"If Michiko gets to stay, I stay, too." Amaya announced, squeezing Omi a little tighter.

Rainbow's eyes filled with tears. "Amaya, if you stay here, who will I watch FMA with?"

"Rainbow, it's not the end of the world. And look at him!" She bubbled, holding Omi in front of her so her fangirl friend could see him.

Michiko bit her lip. She remembered all too well what happens to friends of Omi's. And if you haven't guessed by now, I may as well tell you, Michiko is insanely protective of her friends.

"Amaya, go with the others."

"Michiko, that is so unfair! If you get to stay, then I should be allowed to!"

"Amaya, Michiko isn't staying. She's coming just like the rest of us." Bono assured the group.

Michiko stammered a little. "But... but... Yohji?"

Yohji patted her back. "Go back to your own universe. We'll be fine. You see, we're all deadly afraid of commitment. Like, Aya is afraid that any human contacts will take him mind off of revenge. I lost the only person I ever loved a long time ago, and I've been playing it up ever since. Ken is just your typical non-committal male. And Omi is too young to be in a serious relationship. Plus he has really bad luck, so I wouldn't be entirely surprised if everybody he falls for is related to him or something. So, you see, we're all better off on our own. Michiko, you're awesome, and it's nothing personal, but you should go."

"Well, when you put it that way. Bye. I'll see you around or something." And with that, Michiko went and joined with the other Nuances.

Amaya and Omi embraced one last time. "Bye. I'll miss you," they both whispered simultaneously. Then they laughed, and the final Nuance joined her friends.

"All right." Rainbow announced, flipping open the manga. "Hold onto your suitcases. We're going home."

Weiss watched as the Nuances leaned over their book, murmuring things like 'oh, yeah,' and 'I remember that!' Then, as a group, they just... vanished. The only thing left was the manga they were from, sitting on the ground. The killer florists went to pick it up.

"Yohji, do you really think I have a problem with commitment?" Ken asked offhand.

"Yes. But I wouldn't worry about it too much."

Meanwhile, the Nuances awoke on the road Cyrano had drove the car off of in the dark. And miracle of miracles, there was the rental car, perfectly intact, with the laptops, cell phones, anime videos, sketch pads, home movies, scrap books, and concert tickets sitting on the seats as though nothing had happened. Overjoyed, the group piled into the car to go to Cyrano's concert.

Stroking her belongings lovingly, Amaya suddenly gagged. "Guys, what if we forget about this vacation, the way we forgot about our lives when we went over there? I don't want to forget Omi!"

The driver, Super Smart Rainbow (Michiko wasn't going to let Cyrano near the keys again), smiled. "No need to worry. We only forgot because of the initial shock of going through the space time continuum. Now that we've adjusted to it, we won't forget."

The others stared at her in abomination. Finally, Bono spoke up. "That plot has the most holes of any I've ever seen. You should be ashamed of yourself."

Rainbow shrugged. "Well, the author couldn't think up a better loophole. She wrote herself into a corner. She wanted us to keep our memories... but only the ones she wanted us to have. And its not like we want to forget this vacation, so roll with the punches."

Bono was too exhausted to argue. "Fine. Whatever. Can we go home after this concert?"

Michiko looked up from the roadmap. "No, we'll be too far away from home. But we'll leave the next day."

Cyrano sighed. "Won't that be cutting the trip pretty short? Technically, we only left a day ago."

Michiko groaned. "Yeah, but we've been gone for a long time, really. I think I've had all the recreation I can handle. Adults can't take too much at one time."

So, the group went to the concert, had a great time, and then decided to go to a very nice restaurant using the hotel money they saved by cutting the trip off. They were driving towards the restaurant when suddenly, without warning, Rainbow slammed the car brakes on. Nobody asked why, because the same thing had gone through all their minds at the same time. Ignoring the huge traffic backup behind them, the fangirls all whispered the same thing to themselves.

"Holy S–T! (Please pick one per fangirl) Kaname/Naoya/Tomonori/Tsukasa." The girls stared at each other in horror. Finally, Amaya voiced the question running through the car.

"Did we just... cheat on... our boyfriends?"

Bono shrugged sympathetically. "Well, yes, pretty much. Except Michiko, because she doesn't have a boyfriend. She just has a life-threatening crush." Before Michiko could celebrate, however, Bono stuck out his tongue and added, "but I think that should count too. Haha. I'm faithful! You guys aren't!"

This revelation subdued the fangirls, and even Bono felt a little bad. He _had_ almost decapitated Rainbow over Ken... So, being a bad role model, of age, and knowing nothing helps a bad conscious like a little alcohol, Michiko decided to buy them a round of drinks.

As soon as the little sake glasses came, Cyrano raised hers in a toast every Nuance could drink to.

"Here's to our boyfriends! May they never meet!"


	9. Epilogue Tying Up Loose Ends

Epilogue

After the Weiss.

Damage Control by Michiko Izumi

During this whole vacation, the original cast of Juvenile Orion was going on with their own lives. Well, sort of. Ok, maybe not. Ever since the day the Nuances had left, they had found themselves in an inexplicable funk, and, being the expressive, close, caring and sharing, broad-minded, non traditional guys that they are, not one of them would tell the others that he missed the Nuances for fear of being branded a pansy.

So that was why Isshin, Kaname, Naoya, and Tsukasa were sitting around Isshin's room, trying to act as though they didn't all feel like the universe was falling apart. Then 'Mr. Bright side' came on the radio.

"_It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss..."_

"Turn the radio off!" Kaname wailed, curling up like a shrimp.

Isshin had actually just turned it up. "But I like this song."

"_Now they're going to bed, and my stomach is sick, and it's all in my head..."_

Clamping his hands over his ears, Kaname started screaming, "Turn it off! TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF!" to drown out the part about him taking off her dress.

Naoya poked him a few times. "What's gotten into you, man?"

"_I just can't look, it's killing me. They're taking control..." _

"FLOOM!" One well placed energy ball from Tsukasa, and the radio had sung its last pop song.

Isshin gaped at the burn mark on his dresser, then at the usually mild mannered boy responsible. "Tsukasa! What did you do to my radio?"

"I don't feel like listening to that song right now either. Now, let's do something else, shall we?"

This is the kind of few days they had. Then, one morning, they just started feeling happy again. Or, as happy as they get. The little band must have gotten over missing the Nuances.

That's what they thought. Actually, the Nuances had returned to Juvenile Orion, which meant that the universe had returned to its natural order, which the guys could, of course, sense. They're very sensitive to disorder in the universe.

XXXXXXXSCENE CHANGEXXXXXXXX

The Nuances smiled as Rainbow drove them back into city limits. Soon they had hit a serious traffic jam, but even that didn't ruin their good mood. In fact, it gave Amaya time to make a very important vow to secrecy with the rest.

"Ok, everybody put your hand on mine..." She stuck her hand in the middle of the car, and the others followed. "And repeat after me. What happens in Weiss Kreuz, STAYS in Weiss Kreuz."

"What happens in Weiss, stays in Weiss." Everybody repeated dutifully.

They cruised around town, dropping Cyrano and her stuff off at the dubious looking bar that was Yakuza (Japanese mafia/Cyrano's employers) headquarters, where she met up with her other band of friends, the ones the Nuances didn't know to well. The last they saw her, she was waving about a piece of clothing she had fought off twelve fans to get when one of the singers at the concert hurled it into the crowd.

They planned on stopping by the kennel to pick up Bono's siblings before heading back to his apartment, but instead they ended up picking up Isshin off the side of the road and going straight to Bono's. He assured them that he would retrieve the little ones later.

The mysterious Rainbow would tell no one where she lived, so she was going let Michiko and Amaya out at their apartment (they share one, ever since an incident involving an janitor's closet, a pot of coffee, and a very young transvestite, but that's another story), then take the car back to the rental place.

I should point out that she didn't do that, exactly. She swung by Naoya's place and they went joyriding. But the car _did_ eventually end up where it belonged, at that's what matters.

Amaya watched as Michiko skipped towards the stairs, not encumbered by her heavy suitcases at all. "Michiko, you seem... different."

"Different?"

"Like, I dunno, cheerful." It was true. Michiko was normally very angsty and stressed.

"I feel great. Do you realize that I haven't gotten hurt at all since we got back to our universe? I'm all safe!" she squealed, certain that the author had stopped beating on her alter-ego. She was prancing ahead of Amaya when she spotted Tomonori going up the steps, clearly not noticing them. Michiko put a finger to her lips to tell Amaya to be quiet, snuck up on her neighbor, and grabbed him from behind before Amaya could stop her.

"BooOOF!" The author felt a little regret as Tomonori, without turning around, elbowed his assailant in the stomach and pushed the unfortunate Nuance over. If Rainbow was there, she probably would have stood up for Michiko against the obviously masochistic author. But Rainbow wasn't there, having just entered a demolition derby with the rental car, so it looked like Michiko was just going to have to stop being such a tempting target.

Amaya cringed as her friend toppled down the stairs and rolled into the wall, followed by a suitcase dropping on her already tender ribs.

"Michiko? Are you ok?"

"Ugh."

"I suppose we should have seen that coming," Amaya sighed, heaving the suitcase off her friend and rounding on the slightly disoriented priest who just came running down the stairs. "WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU? DON'T YOU KNOW NOT TO RANDOMLY TOSS WOMEN DOWN STAIRCASES?"

"Amaya? Is that you? I thought you weren't getting back until... Michiko? Are you Ok?"

"OH, WE WEREN'T HERE, SO IT'S OK TO ASSAULT PEOPLE?"

"No, I just get attacked enough to be suspicious of people ambushing me."

"Michiko is going to DIE, and THAT'S your excuse?"

Michiko, who wasn't hurt very badly, had stood up a long time ago, and was dusting herself off and watching the argument with sardonic amusement. Finally, she became concerned that they would actually try to hurt each other if she didn't stop them, so she decided to speak up.

"Well, don't worry about me. I'll hobble my way to the hospital." When they persisted quarreling, Michiko picked up her suitcase and skipped up the stairs to her apartment. She turned around before unlocking her door, her good mood not effected. "Eh, at least the cat will be glad to see me. AMAYA, SHOUT IF HE TRIES TO KILL YOU, OK?"

XXXXXXXSCENE CHANGEXXXXXXX

After the Nuances had left Weiss, two Halo buddies met online to chat. Here is the transcript:

IANUMFTTT: hey, i'm sorry i'm couldn't make to our last game.

FreesiasofDarkness: no prob. we had company andi couldn't get on either.

IANUMFTTT: yeah,i had to work late.

FreesiasofDarkness: god,i hate it when that happens.

FreesiasofDarkness: wait,i didn't know you had a job. what do you do?

IANUMFTTT: i'm a member of an evil organization working towards causing the end of mankind and civilization.

IANUMFTTT: couldn't make it because we kidnaped a bunch of girls, but they got loose and tied us up in a back alley and I had to use my mad psychic powers to get us free :-)

FreesiasofDarkness: LMAO

FreesiasofDarkness: well, can't beat that... um... oh,i finally started reading that juvenile orion series.

IANUMFTTT: YES! don't you just love it?

FreesiasofDarkness: can't say yet. my bros stole it from me and won't give it back. bastards. they tease me because I still wet the bed.

IANUMFTTT: that's nothing. sometimesi think about boys and touch myself.

**FreesiasofDarkness has logged off**

XXXXXXXXXXSCENE CHANGEXXXXXXXX

Several days later, several random Nuances/Juvenile Orion boys were hanging out at Michiko and Amaya's place because they couldn't think of anything else to do, and they happened to decide to watch some old reruns of Weiss.

"That shirt Omi is wearing looks..." Kaname paused for the right word.

"Hideous?" Rainbow volunteered.

"I was going to say familiar, but yeah, that too."

"I dunno. It would be pretty cute... on a girl," pondered Naoya.

Kaname was still squinting at Omi. "Hey, Amaya, isn't that your shirt he's wearing?"

"HAHA! OF COURSE NOT! How could a cartoon character have gotten a hold of MY shirt?" Amaya laughed a little too loudly. She had hated that shirt. She wasn't even sure why she had packed it in the first place. And, come to think of it, she wasn't sure where it was now.

"Well, duh. I just meant it looks just like one of yours. What ever happened to that shirt, anyway?"

"Oh. I threw it in the poor. I mean, gave it to the garbage, I mean... I got rid of it."

"Hmm. Weird coincidence, huh?"

"It sure is." Rainbow flashed a huge, fake smile and changed the subject, much the Amaya's relief.

XXXXXXXXXXXXSCENE CHANGEXXXXXXXXXXX

At their next official meeting, the Nuances looked up wormholes on the Internet.

"Hey, here's a map of them. See, here's the one to Weiss Kreuz, that we drove into. And there's one right here in town. What's FMA stand for?" Bono asked, surfing the web for explanations to the strange phenomena their vacation had been.

Rainbow and Amaya smiled at each other. "Ed," they whispered simultaneously in creepy stalker voices. Bono didn't notice as they bent over him to get a better look at the map.

"It stands for Ed?" he asked blankly.

In a military base, maybe not so far from you or me, Edward Elric was enjoying a hotdog when he abruptly stopped, shuddered and looked up at Roy. "I just felt a chill pass through my very soul," he said to his companion.

The black haired youth waved his own hotdog dismissively. "Yeah. Oscar Meyer will do that to you."


End file.
